In the 1990s, Craig Burley was a regular in the Chelsea midfield, but now he’s a regular on the ESPN sofa, where he specialises in saying obtuse and mildly controversial things. One such mildly controversial thing was a bet that Fernando Torres would fail to score in Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey tie against Real Madrid at the Bernabeu last week. If Nando did score, Burley said he would get a tattoo of his pretty little Spanish face.
Of course, it then transpired that Torres bagged a goal in both halves, forcing Burley to make some ink-based enquiries.
Calling all Tattoo shops.
— Craig Burley (@CBurleyESPN) January 15, 2015
A tattoo parlour in Hartford Connecticut answered Burley’s call, and ESPN filmed the embarrassed Scot getting El Nino and his impossibly angular cheekbones permanently etched onto his skin. However, the eagle-eyed will notice that the video doesn’t actually show the tattoo machine making contact with his skin, nor does the finished result show any of the soreness or swelling that a genuine inking would produce. Also, it looks a bit like a drawing.
Perhaps it is real, perhaps it isn’t. The only logical next step is for Fernando Torres to get Craig Burley’s toothless grin tattooed on his arm.