Robbie Savage proves that if enough people dislike you, you will be allowed to drive as fast as you want

Throughout Robbie Savage’s career as a footballer and now as a pundit on television, radio and in print, he has made it his mission to annoy as many people as humanly possible. He revels in it. The more people dislike him, the more his supremely punchable, chemically whitened smile grows. And now we know that this wasn’t just a pronounced case of masochism — there was a greater reason behind it all: to be able to escape meaningful punishment for driving too fast.

Revealing himself to be football’s greatest minds and a real-life Keyser Soze, Savage admitted to driving 99 mph in his Bentley Mulsanne, but escaped a driving ban because, as his lawyer argued in court on his behalf, the general population dislikes him too much to allow him to ride public transportation in peace.

From the Guardian:

Savage faced the possibility of a 28-day ban but instead was fined £600 and given six points on his licence by magistrates in Northallerton, North Yorkshire, after his lawyer likened him to Marmite, reports the Northern Echo.

Philip Morris, defending, told the court: “He is a name I’m sure is familiar to you. He is someone who as a result of his professional playing career in football has metamorphasised into a pundit. He is therefore particularly anxious about his licence.

“Someone once described him as being like Marmite. You either love him or the opposite. As a consequence, the car provides something of a safe haven when getting from home to work and to charitable functions.”

Of course, £600 to someone who drives a Bentley is nothing, and with this precedent, so are the points on his license (the court has already shown that it won’t ban him from driving, so what would they do if he acquires too many points? Send him to jail? Surely there are lots of people in there who hate him too). By being harmlessly awful, Savage has essentially propelled himself above the law.

With this kind of dedication to manipulating the system, he will surely be Prime Minister by the end of the year.


Leave a Reply