Future News: Frank Lampard demands retroactive transfer to the club he pretended to sign for

Following Manchester City’s surprising 1-0 loss to Burnley, Frank Lampard has made it clear that he wishes to leave the club and join his “pretend home” New York City FC immediately.

“I pretended to sign for New York City fair and square last summer,” Lampard said. “So I should be able to join them now, even though I’m technically with Man City at the moment and the actual contract I signed with New York in January doesn’t start until July. If pretend contracts used to trick people into buying tickets from a club that barely exists aren’t legally binding, then society crumbles. I think former New York Mayor Vito Corleone said that.”

Lampard was originally announced as an NYCFC player in August of last year and was reportedly sent on loan to sister club Man City for the first half of the season. But when the Premier League champions and Lampard agreed to extend his deal through the end of the current campaign, it was revealed that he never actually signed a contract with NYCFC at all and that his deal with Man City wasn’t a loan, but a permanent one.

He eventually did sign a contract with New York in January, which will bring him to the MLS club in July, but after Man City’s second loss in three games, Lampard seems to think that his chances at silverware this year are better stateside.

“I’m not saying that Man City’s title chances are dead, I’m just saying that New York City now have a better chance of winning the Premier League title than they do. And that’s where I belong. Unless Chelsea please bring me back.”

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