An Arsenal fan had his girlfriend take a written exam about the club

It started with a warning shortly before Sunday’s match between Arsenal and Chelsea. Twitter user @saskiaisabxlla shared a screenshot of a text message later revealed to be from her boyfriend. It read “I might make an Arsenal exam for you” and was followed by the threat of “If you fail, we’re through.”

That’s an absurd statement followed by an even more absurd statement. At best they make up a poor joke and at worst they serve as grounds for dumping him. What would even prompt such a ridiculous line of thinking? Well, in his defense, there was reasonable grounds for questioning her allegiances.

So, presumably using the downtime afforded by Arsenal’s drab, scoreless draw with Chelsea, this madman actually went and made a 22-question exam for his girlfriend. And instead of tearing it up and finding a new boyfriend who doesn’t spend his time making exams about football clubs, she actually took it.

With formal instructions and advice, the exam was divided into sections and featured questions like “name the starting 11 squad of this season and their relevant positions” and “In your own words, explain why Alexis Sanchez is better than Eden Hazard.”

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Though she thought Mesut Ozil was a defender and got the score of last season’s FA Cup final wrong, she finished with a score of 43.5 out of 50 possible points. The grade was accompanied by feedback that included “Learn ALL player positions!!” and “Tottenham are scum.” Finally, the boyfriend wrote, “Well done, Saskia. As a result, I will not be dumping you! [Lucky you]”

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Even if this was a hoax, and for Saskia’s sake we can only hope it was, someone still went to the effort of putting together an Arsenal exam. This is the world we live in.

12 comments

  1. Jordy says:

    Arsenal fans are slowly surpassing liverpool fans as the most deluded, insane supporters in England. And a large part of that is thanks to Chelsea. Thanks guys, you’re reactions are making winning the league so much sweeter

  2. Flapjack says:

    If I were her I’d pull a Jose and just write “this quiz deserves a proper answer” and pull the Jose-est face imaginable.

    Also, girl. You don’t love yourself.

  3. Jennifer says:

    I wouldn’t make potential boyfriends take this quiz, but they would have to swear to hate Spurs and Man U. That’s a deal breaker right there.

  4. Danny says:

    Wow lighten up Brooks (and some of the people commenting), it’s quite obviously a joke and a quite funny one at that, and she obviously took it as such. For someone who regularly complains about how absurdly seriously things are taken in football these days, I would have expected a different reaction.

  5. MN says:

    I am Liverpool fan. My wife doesn’t watch football that much (she knows that Torres broke my heart, that Suarez is a cannibal and that we bleed red). I am OK with it, except when she asks what the big deal is after we’ve lost (which is slowly becoming a tradition, judging by these last weeks). She teases me that she likes Arsenal, Westham, Swansea, ManCity. I don’t care. But if I have a slightest suspicion that she has feelings for ManUtd, she would have to pass a timed, written test.
    For the life of me, I cannot be in a healthy relationship with a ManUtd fan. I just cannot, I believe (correction: I know) they are evil. PERIOD.

  6. WhoLovesUnited says:

    It’s a clear parody of the recent girl who made her boyfriend a Beyonce test, accompanied by the same threat. Expect more of the same ridiculous in the near future.

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