Blatter resignation puts interplanetary World Cup in doubt

The sudden and unexpected resignation of newly re-elected FIFA president Sepp Blatter has been met with resounding joy and optimism. But some will wonder what could have been if the 79-year-old Blatter only had more time to enact all the fantastical things he always talked about doing.

As Blatter himself would surely tell you, 17 years as FIFA president isn’t nearly enough time to clean up the culture of rampant corruption that he spent each one of those 17 years developing. More importantly though, was his optimism for the patently absurd. Just last year, Blatter shared his vision for the future of football.

From the Guardian:

In his address to the Fifa Congress the day before the Brazil World Cup kicks off, Blatter said: “We shall wonder if one day our game is played on another planet? Why not? Then we will have not only a World Cup we will have inter-planetary competitions. Why not?”

Why not? Because Sepp Blatter has been cruelly forced to abandon his post in the prime of his career by those hellbent on holding him accountable for the things he doesn’t want to be held accountable for.

Now we can only speculate as to whether his successor will have the same belief in the insultingly ridiculous as Blatter has demonstrated throughout his tenure. Top candidates Michel Platini and Prince Ali bin al-Hussein have both been shockingly quiet about the possibility of interplanetary football competitions. Neither of them have even said anything about whether Martians will be eligible to play for Jupiter if they spend at least five Earth years training at one of its potential moon academies.

Of course, there is still time for both men to explain their positions on this matter, as it will take at least four months for FIFA to hold an extraordinary congress and elect Blatter’s replacement. In the meantime, we can only wait and think about how much more reasonable a football tournament held on the surface of a meteor would be than Qatar 2022.


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