Jordan Henderson, Thibaut Courtois star in half-hearted campaign videos for FIFA 16 cover

EA Sports is letting fans vote for the footballer who will join Lionel Messi on the UK cover of FIFA 16, because that’s exactly what fans need: one more thing to fight about on the internet.

The four options are Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson, Man City’s Sergio Aguero, Tottenham’s Harry Kane, and Chelsea’s Thibaut Courtois. Liverpool were the first to push their candidate in front of a camera and make him plead for votes, complete with campaign promises to dance the next time he scores a goal.

And if Henderson’s lifeless monotone doesn’t inspire you to action, maybe Courtois’ will…

Aguero and Kane have yet to be subjected to this treatment since they are busy with the Copa America and European U-21 Championship, respectively. But while they waste their time with actual football, Henderson is building up a lead with impassioned calls to action by the likes of Steven Gerrard and the fancy sign he made while waiting for the next tee box to clear on the golf course.

Of course, the fact that Arsene Wenger shoving Jose Mourinho isn’t a cover option proves that this whole thing is a farce.

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