You might remember Cristiano Ronaldo’s new ab pulsator from yesterday and every time you close your eyes since then. Well, at a promotional event for the strange device, the company responsible for the device put the real Cristiano Ronaldo on stage with a 3D printed Cristiano Ronaldo and it was terrifying. The eyes even moved!
Looking like some sort of evil cyborg that feeds on hair gel and the skulls it coats, the statue even seemed to be a bit much for the real Cristiano, who approached it cautiously.
Then he tried to seduce it by fondling its ear…
And finally, he tried to befriend it…but it was clearly plotting his torturous death so it could become the one true Cristiano Ronaldo and kill all things in its path.
Still, it didn’t appreciate being objectified. The 3D printed Ronaldo is not a piece of meat. It’s whatever material they do 3D printing with.
Elsewhere, the real Cristiano had his abs poked and rubbed on a Japanese TV show.
This was when he knew what the 3D printed Ronaldo must feel.