This commercial for Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s new cologne is some kind of fever dream

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been teasing his first cologne for months and now it has a commercial to push the excitement for the new product into a surreal new dimension. I’m not entirely sure what’s happening in this video, but I’m pretty sure this is what you see when you drink an entire bottle of the Zlatan fragrance.

Though watching this will certainly leave you with many questions, if you’re wondering why the fish was so prominently featured, it’s because it’s one of the symbols of the fragrance inspired by his tattoos.

Zlatan explained in his book, I am Zlatan, that he had the carp tattooed on his back because it’s a “fish that swims against the current.” Just like Zlatan.

Though the Zlatan musk hasn’t been released everywhere yet, there are already some reviews of it. “It opens with notes of lemon, spices and green grass,” according to fragrantica.com. “The heart mixes marine accord white lavender. The composition ends with vetiver, leather and woody notes.”

One user who says they work at a perfume shop added, “I let a couple of 14-year old guys (target audience) that asked about it have a spritz, and they loved it. I believe it will sell well to the younger customers. Funny enough, we also have the new, white Britney Spears, and when the drydown gets weak, they are surprisingly similar.”

We can only assume that these lies were written by Pep Guardiola.

3 comments

  1. Bob says:

    If you just landed on planet Earth and saw this and Eastbound and Down at the same time, you’d have no idea which one was fiction.

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