— Portland Timbers (@TimbersFC) December 3, 2015
The Portland Timbers will face the Columbus Crew in the MLS Cup final and since Columbus will host the match, they’ve made some pointed additions to the prohibited items list for Mapfre Stadium.
Chainsaws and “logs of any wooden variety” aren’t usually things people bring to stadiums, but the Timbers, with their chainsaw wielding lumberjack mascot and log carving goal celebration are different.
Though the Timbers will apparently respect Columbus’ new stadium rules, they’ve decided to strap their “victory log” to a big rig and drive it the 2,400 miles from Oregon to Ohio like some kind of bizarro version of Oregon Trail so it can with with Timber Joey and their fans outside the venue on matchday.
And if the Timbers lose, we can only assume that an irate Timber Joey will make the MLS Cup his defeat log and cut it in half.