A complete list of people Jose Mourinho is blaming for Chelsea’s waking nightmare

Chelsea keep losing and Jose Mourinho’s reality is being systematically dismantled around him. For someone who has known only success to suddenly experience endless failure is surely difficult to accept. So in his attempts to make sense of it all, he has blamed a wide variety of individuals. Perhaps even more than when he’s winning.

The following is a complete list of people who are at fault for Chelsea’s current struggles, according to Jose Mourinho.

-His players: Following the 2-1 loss to Leicester, Mourinho said “I feel my work is betrayed” because he specifically trained his players in how to defend against the ways in which Leicester scored each of their goals. “All last season I did phenomenal work and I brought them to a level that is not their level, is more than they really are,” he added, referring to how the same Chelsea that are now one point above the relegation zone won the Premier League title last season in convincing fashion.

-Opposing players: Mourinho has lamented how both Bournemouth and Leicester used time wasting tactics to prevent Chelsea from making late comebacks in recent weeks. “They played in a way that some call intelligent, some say is not fair play,” he said after a 1-0 loss to Bournemouth. “They were taking time, calling for the medical department and drinking water like it is a basketball timeout.”

-Ball boys: Speaking of time wasting, Jose Mourinho has long been wise to the nefarious intentions of the powerful Ball Boy Cabal. The ones in Leicester forced him to draw attention to their unrepentant evil while acting like he didn’t want that to overshadow Leicester’s quality. From the Guardian:

“The ballboys were amazing,” Mourinho said sarcastically. “But the ballboys point I just say because I feel it is a disgrace for the Premier League, but please make it very clear that I don’t want the ballboys story to be in front of a result that Leicester deserve.”

-Referees: There are too many examples of Mourinho criticizing the referees to mention. He was given a one-match ban for refusing to leave the referee’s dressing room and shouting “You referees are weak” at halftime of a match Chelsea would lose to West Ham.

-Chelsea’s medical staff: Mourinho famously criticized now former club doctor Eva Carneiro and physio Jon Fearn for going onto the pitch to treat Eden Hazard while Chelsea were already a man down in what would be a 2-2 draw with Swansea. Even though the referee summoned them to do so. But since the referees are also out to get him, this constitutes an act of treason almost on par with listening to the ball boys.

-Everyone who isn’t Jose Mourinho: Jose Mourinho is just a man whose unparalleled awesomeness is constantly being undermined by an endless stream of haters and weaklings. Of course, there are other people who are legitimately to blame for Chelsea’s troubles (like the players, the players, and the players), but when you rant and rave about ball boys and doctors, it makes you look like the unstable one who has lost touched with reality. The kind of person who finds it hard to retain the hearts and minds of his subordinates.

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