Everything you need to know about Marcus Rashford, Man United’s teenage savior

Manchester United’s injury epidemic has forced them to raid their youth academy for warm bodies. In doing so, they found a young man who has reinvigorated their wilting season. His name is Marcus Rashford. This is everything you need to know about him.

-He scored a brace in his first-team debut against FC Midtjylland, making him the club’s youngest ever goalscorer in Europe at 18 years and 117 days old, beating out George Best (18 years, 158 days).

-A mere three days later, he scored another brace, this time in a 3-2 win over Arsenal in the Premier League. His first Premier League goal came on his first Premier League shot.

-As impressive as his four goals in his first 60 minutes of top-flight football are, his scoring pace has dropped considerably since he was five years old, according to his coach at that time.

From the BBC:

“We went to a tournament and I took him down there – I watched this lad and in only 10 minutes he had scored 12 goals,” said Gaynord. “He kind of got bored so started setting up his team-mates to score and we won the game 20-0 – in 10 minutes.”

-When Louis van Gaal watches him score a goal, time slows down and he hears Dave Grohl sing “There goes my hero, watch him as he goes…” in his head.

-Born in Manchester when Sir Alex Ferguson performed a blood ritual from an ancient book of spells after having a premonition of the club’s dire time of need in the 2015/16 season.

-If Jose Mourinho was currently Man United’s manager, Rashford would still be four years away from making his Premier League debut with Stoke.

-The only reason he hasn’t scored a hat trick yet is his preference for even numbers (despite his shirt number being 39, which he wears just to confuse people). 

-Laughs at how easy this football stuff is:

-The power of his talent literally knocked Van Gaal off his feet.

-Destroyed Arsene Wenger’s worldview so completely that the Arsenal manager still bemoaned Man United’s spending even though the kid who scored two goals and assisted the third against him currently makes £500 a week.

-Is now listed at 14/1 odds to make England’s Euro 2016 squad. Odds on him winning the tournament’s Golden Boot are not currently available, presumably because the bookmakers know it is certain to happen.

4 comments

  1. bert says:

    -If Jose Mourinho was currently Man United’s manager, Rashburn would still be four years away from making his Premier League debut with Stoke.

    Ha ha! You nailed that one on the head. I see a serious wage increase for this youngster.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.