Brazilian footballer who wets himself before every match kills snake pitch invader

This is Eder Loko. He plays for Brazilian club Agua Santa and he is a man who has thoroughly earned his nickname.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That probably means he has a wacky hairstyle or has a penchant for getting sent off. But frivolities like these are far too mundane for Eder Loko.

You see, way back in 2008 — that’s eight years ago — he felt the unmistakable urge to urinate just before the start of a regional cup semifinal. Knowing that he didn’t have time to run back to the dressing room, Eder Loko decided that he had no choice but to wet himself. So he did.

Granted, that’s not quite Gary Lineker pooping himself during a World Cup match, but 30 second after kickoff, Eder Loko scored a goal. So, naturally, he came to the conclusion that wetting himself brought him good luck. And ever since then, before every match, he has done just that. For eight years. Eight. Years.

He tells Globo (translation thanks to Ryan Lloyd):

“When I scored the goal, I was still all wet–smelly down there. After that, I pee every time I’m on the pitch. When it’s raining, it’s really nice.

“I don’t let the camera catch me because I could be sent off. There was a presentation with (ex-referee Oscar Roberto) Godoy and he said the referee could send someone off for that. Since I know a lot of people, everyone already knows I pee on the field. The guys make fun of me for it.”

Let that sink in. Eight years! Ok, but this isn’t what recently brought him international notoriety. This is just a revelation that came out after the referee for a match between Linense and Agua Santa found a small snake on the pitch during the game. While everyone else stood around looking at it, trying to figure out what to do, Eder Loko kicked the living hell out of it like Hulk taking a free kick, killing the poor snake pitch invader.

In Agua Santa’s next match, Eder Loko proved that his snake kicking ability does translate to free kicks as he scored with a beautiful long-range effort. And then he celebrated by wiggling around on the ground like a snake.

Now, according to Eder Loko’s own rules of superstition, he must wet himself and then kick a snake during every match to ensure that the goals never dry up or slither away.

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