Eden Hazard finally deems this Premier League season worthy of his goals

On the last full day of his reign as PFA Player of the Year, Eden Hazard scored his first two goals of the Premier League season in Chelsea’s 4-1 win over Bournemouth, proving that his terrible form this season has either been a slow-burn practical joke or something else equally incomprehensible.

Maybe he had been suffering from amnesia, simply forgot how to score goals, and thought his name was Stanley Dingleton, but hit his head the night before the Bournemouth match and it all came back to him? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about this a lot this season and I still don’t know. The Dingleton theory seems like it’s on the right track, though.

It had been 356 days since his last Premier League goal, but that’s all over now.

Meanwhile, Luis Suarez has scored four goals in each of his last two La Liga matches — a new record — bringing his total to 34 for the season.

Congrats, Eden!

One comment

  1. Cathy says:

    Also it’s possible that Diego Costa has been putting something in Hazard’s coffee (1) as an elaborate practical joke, (2) to get rid of Jose Mourinho, (3) to further his quest for world domination. We all know Costa can’t be trusted.

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