Odd theory claims Liverpool are more than just Jurgen Klopp

Everyone knows that Liverpool’s recent success is all down to the club being awarded victories for Jurgen Klopp’s hugs, celebrations, and funny press conferences, but a crackpot new theory maintains that an entire staff and squad of players have also contributed.

While most coverage of Liverpool’s win over Villarreal in the semifinals of the Europa League were firmly centered on Jurgen Klopp’s intoxicating genius, a BBC report made reference to a “Daniel Sturridge” executing a “low finish” and “good work from the excellent Roberto Firmino” (though the first words of the report are literally “Jurgen Klopp”).

After extensive research, I can confirm that these are not nicknames for Klopp, but entirely different human beings who supposedly play football for Liverpool. This startling revelation is unlikely to detract from the focus on Klopp, however, because he’s just so damn lovable.

Liverpool have now reached two cup finals since Klopp took over from Brendan Rodgers in October. References to the players and staff who might have helped Klopp achieve this truly Kloppian feat are scarce and all images related to the club since October have been of Klopp and Klopp alone. So we must remain skeptical of the “Not Only Klopp” theory.

kloppheadline

Should Liverpool win the Europa League and claim a place in the Champions League as a result, there will likely be further attempts to give credit to other people who are not Jurgen Klopp. But until indisputable proof of these non-Klopp influences is provided, the suggestion of their existence is nothing more than a distraction from the incessant praise of the wonderful Jurgen Klopp.

Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp Jurgen Klopp. Jurgen. Klopp.

3 comments

  1. Cathy says:

    I find this report to be even more unbelievable than that totally fake story about Leicester winning the Championship. You really need to step up your game, Brooks.

Leave a Reply