The most logical explanations for England’s loss to Iceland at Euro 2016

Iceland beat England 2-1 in the Euro 2016 round of 16 in a match that is being hailed as one of the most shocking defeats in the history of English football. But is it really? Here are all of the perfectly reasonable explanations for this result:

-They really misunderstood the Brexit referendum. (“We all thought it was strange that whether we should try and stay at the Euros or not would be left up to a vote back home, but who are we to question the will of the people?” said captain Wayne Rooney.)

-Being in France this whole time, they haven’t heard all the Brexit jokes and thought people would still appreciate one more.

-They were simply helpless under the  powerfully cursed support of Football Angel of Doom Mick Jagger.

-They were simply helpless against Iceland co-manager Lars Lagerback (the one who used to manage Sweden, not the one who is a part-time dentist), who has now faced England seven times and never lost.

-Roy Hodgson chose his squad poorly (bringing and then using  an unfit and out of form Jack Wilshere) and employed baffling tactics (Harry Kane taking set pieces) that sabotaged England’s already fragile confidence.

-They really wanted that free whale watching trip offered by an Icelandic firm before the game.

-Joe Hart really hates the guy who managed to get @JoeHart on Twitter before he could. 

-They wanted to try and coax Lionel Messi back from international retirement by showing him how it can be so much worse than losing three consecutive cup finals.

-This guy’s shirt:

-Population size, monetary compensation, and big name players aren’t always indicators of a national team’s likelihood to succeed and Iceland had already proven themselves to be a formidable side by performing consistently well in qualifying and the group stage. Meanwhile, England have continually proven that they are England.

-They knew they would lose to France in the quarterfinals anyway, so why not give Iceland a crack at them?

-They really like that Icelandic clapping celebration and wanted to see it in person.

-They thought the most fitting way to mark the country’s 50 years of hurt since their 1966 World Cup win would be even more hurt.

-They are the England national team.

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