Employee: Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?
Allardyce: Hello, I’m the new England manager.
Employee: Sam Allardyce?
Allardyce: Yes. Now, since you lot sponsor The FA, I take it I’m entitled to free meals here whenever I like.
Employee: Uhh….I don’t think that’s how it works.
Allardyce: I’ll have a Big Sam.
Employee: You mean a Big Mac?
Allardyce: No, a Big Sam. It’s a Big Mac with extra burgers in place of the bread, no lettuce, extra pickles and a large cup filled with the Big Mac sauce so I can drink it like a milkshake.
Employee: I’ll have to see if we can do that…
Allardyce: Oh, and when I drive around to the next window, have a camera ready.
Allardyce: So you can take a picture of me hanging out the window like Harry Redknapp. You can put it up on Tinder and get a million Facebook hits.
Employee: I think I should get my manager.
Allardyce: You do that. Tell him I’d like to have a word with him England manager to McDonald’s manager.
Employee: Do I have to say that last part?
Employee: (sighs) Just a moment. I’ll get Mr. Hodgson.
Allardyce: Mr. Hodgson? Roy Hodgson? Roy Hodgson is the manager of this McDonald’s now?
Employee: Yes. He said that after having Harry Kane take set pieces at the Euros, this was the only thing anyone would let him manage.
Allardyce: I didn’t ask for his life story. Now get that camera ready — this isn’t the only McDonald’s I plan to visit today.