Barcelona accepting applications to donate a healthy groin to Lionel Messi

The groin injury that forced Lionel Messi out of Barcelona’s 1-1 draw with Atletico Madrid in the 59th minute will keep him out of action for three weeks. “To lose Messi means that football loses,” said Barca manager Luis Enrique after the match. And with that in mind, the club announced they will accept applications from anyone interested in donating a healthy groin to Messi so he can return to the pitch as soon as possible.

“If you think you have a groin that is a match for Lionel, please notify us as soon as possible,” club president Josep Maria Bartomeu announced. “And if Messi is able to use your groin, we will reward you with an autographed picture and a special shirt that says ‘Messi has my groin.'”

Though many of Messi’s legion of fans are likely eager to donate a piece of themselves to help their hero, Barcelona have already developed a “plan D” in case a suitable volunteer does not come forward.

“Worst case scenario, we recall Douglas from his loan and take his groin,” Bartomeu added. “He’s gotten to celebrate eight trophies while only making eight appearances for the club. It’s time he gives something back. Whether he likes it or not.”

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