Category: Germany

Arturo Vidal proves that there is not a wall tall enough to prevent him from scoring

Normally footballers are only tasked with scoring over human sized walls, but during a Bayern Munich training session, Arturo Vidal proved that he can score over extra tall metal ones too. It’s hard to say when this skill would come in handy during an actual match, but if Bayern ever face a team of Godzillas, they’ll want Vidal taking the free kicks.

Carlo Ancelotti and his eyebrow bring Oktoberfest to new heights

A day after only managing a 1-1 draw against Cologne, Bayern held their annual Oktoberfest celebration. Though new manager Carlo Ancelotti didn’t appear to match former manager Pep Guardiola’s level of drunkenness, he did bring his own eyebrow-arching flair to the event. And now I think I’m drunk off the sight of Ancelotti looking like a Bavarian farmer.

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German clubs can now sue their fans, so that’s what Cologne are doing

If you enjoy doing dumb stuff at profession football matches, you’ll want to steer clear of Germany because the German Federal Court of Justice has given clubs the ability to sue fans for their wrongdoing during matches. And Bundesliga side Cologne are making use of this newfound ability in an effort to recoup some of the money they had to pay out as a result of an idiot injuring seven people with fireworks during a 2014 match against Paderborn.

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No, a goalkeeper wasn’t arrested for conceding 43 goals in one match

Depleted by injuries, an eight-man SV Vonderort reserve side lost 43-0 to PSV Oberhausen in the German 11th division. It got so bad, that Oberhausen took three of their own players off to even up the numbers.

“I wanted to cancel the game at halftime [when the score was 19-0] when the referee asked me about it,” Vonderort’s coach told Auf’m Platz. “But the team wanted to continue playing.”

As bad a day as that was for Vonderort’s goalkeeper, things got even worse for him several days later when he was arrested after a training session. The widely reported implication was that his mysterious arrest was related to his performance in the previous match, but Bild now confirms that this asinine assumption couldn’t be further from the truth.

According to Bild, a government official confirmed that he had a warrant out for his arrest over an unpaid fine. The reason for the fine and the length of his jailing were not released, however. Apparently conceding 43 goals really helps the police track you down.

Meanwhile, Vonderort went on to improve tremendously in their next match by only losing 8-0. So the story has a happy ending. Kind of.

Douglas Costa is better at backheel penalties than many players are at normal ones

💪🏾 💣 💪🏾 rapaziada do @quejogada tá desafiada a fazer o mesmo!

A video posted by #⃣DC11#⃣ 🇧🇷 (@douglascosta) on

Douglas Costa pulled off an incredibly power and accurate backheel penalty during a challenge with Franck Ribery and now I want to pay him money to do this in a real match.

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Mario Götze makes awkward return to Dortmund, regrets Bayern move

Borussia Dortmund fans burned his shirts and called him “Judas,” but now Mario Götze is back after three years with Bayern Munich. Back in April, when rumors of a potential return first surfaced, Dortmund fans held up banners that read “Milan or Madrid. Just not Dortmund. Piss off Götze!” during a match against Werder Bremen.

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