Tag: Colombia

Colombia-Paraguay coin flip proves Copa America Centenario is cursed

This is it. Definitive proof that Copa America Centenario has been cursed by the football gods for being an orgy of greed and incompetence.

Prior to Colombia’s 2-1 win over a 10-man Paraguay, there was the coin toss. And on the first attempt, something unusual happened: the coin landed on its edge. IT LANDED ON ITS EDGE.

The match officials and captains had a giggle about it, but this was surely the nervous laughter of men frightened to their core by the supernatural occurrence they just witnessed with their own eyes.

This is what happens when you charge $40 for parking, price fans out of being able to fill the stadiums, disrespect national anthems, and have kitmakers who can’t even spell their partner countries names’ right. This is a warning! The tournament will be smited for these egregious offenses! Repent! REPENT!

The opening match of the Copa America Centenario is now a thing that has happened

At a purely objectively level, few people thought the U.S. would open the Copa America Cashgrabenario by beating Colombia. Though FIFA rankings are deeply flawed, this was still the No. 31 team in the world facing the No. 3 team in the world.

But memories of advancing through a difficult group at the 2014 World Cup and months of hype leading up to a special tournament designed specifically to be played in the United States encouraged a uniquely American brand of optimism to grow in the lead-up to the tournament’s first match. And then an underwhelming Colombia beat the U.S. 2-0, with goals from a corner kick and a penalty that resulted from a handball. Oh, and James Rodriguez left with an injury in the 73rd minute.

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Neymar, Carlos Bacca shown red cards after Colombia beat Brazil

Colombia beat Brazil for the first time since 1991, avenging last summer’s World Cup quarterfinal loss with a 36th minute goal from Jeison Murillo in Copa America Group C. But once the final whistle blew, the real fun began.

It started with Neymar kicking the ball at a celebrating Pablo Armero, then lightly headbutting goal scorer Murillo, prompting Colombia striker Carlos Bacca to come charging in and shove him from behind.

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Colombia get their Hand of God moment in Women’s World Cup

Colombia (ranked 28th in the world) beat France (ranked third) 2-0 in Group F of the Women’s World Cup thanks in part to a blatant handball. The referee somehow didn’t see it, so France were denied a penalty that could have made it 1-1. This was almost certainly karmic payback for what Thierry Henry did to Ireland in 2009.

With that massive upset, Colombia jump to the top of Group F. And now all three of the world’s top teams (Germany, USA, and France) look far from invincible after their second group-stage matches.