Tag: Falcao

Pedro scores on his Chelsea debut, Falcao declares it “Great, if you like that sort of thing”

Pedro scored and assisted Diego Costa’s first goal of the season within the first half hour of Chelsea’s 3-2 win at West Brom. It was a dream debut for the ex-Barca man and it inspired his new club to their first win of the season despite playing with 10 men after John Terry was sent off in the 54th minute.

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Falcao’s ongoing career is a shared hallucination we are all perpetuating

For the last two years, the once exceptional Radamel Falcao has been a ghost floating through Manchester United, the Colombian national team, and now Chelsea. His utterly forgettable appearance in the second half of the Community Shield was a continuation of his goalless Copa America (in which he was replaced by Jackson Martinez for the quarterfinal, even though he was the team’s captain) and his disappointing season with Man United (in which he was dropped to the U-21 squad at one point).

Though there have been many high profile strikers who have suffered long periods of vanishing form, few have been anywhere near as anonymous as Falcao has been during this period. He hasn’t had the spectacular misses of Fernando Torres or the controversies of Mario Balotelli. It’s almost like he’s not even there. And that’s because he isn’t.

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Why Chelsea acquired the sad remnants of Falcao

Chelsea have officially announced the signing of Radamel Falcao on a season-long loan. Though some critics have quibbled that his abysmal form with Manchester United last season and Colombia at the Copa America last month should have served as a clear warning for the Premier League champions to stay away, there are actually so many reasons for them to acquire the once prolific striker that they probably don’t even know exactly why they’re doing it themselves.

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Falcao’s employment inquiry letter to Chelsea

Dear Mr. Mourinho,

I recently read about Didier Drogba’s intention to leave Chelsea this summer and would like to find out if you are now looking for an experienced striker with a stylish haircut to replace him. I am interested in a job within the Premier League and would be happy to move to London. It will be a great pleasure to learn more regarding Chelsea FC’s mission and the potential job opportunities.

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Several positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears

Radamel Falcao is sad. After missing out on Colombia’s exhilarating World Cup run due to injury, his loan move to Manchester United has been little more than a different brand of awful with four goals in just 19 appearances and a demoralizing run out for the U-21s in which he only lasted 71 ineffective minutes.  And now Falcao’s friend and former agent, Silvano Espindola, is apparently telling the press that the striker is sitting in a puddle of his own tears.

From the Guardian:

“We talk a lot. I’m not going to say that he feels happy because he’s not,” he said. “We’ve spoken many times and cried together. It’s not an easy situation because every player wants to play and every goalscorer wants to score goals, that’s normal.”

Espindola is right about that. These things happen and it’s important that Falcao doesn’t lose sight of the positives. Of which there are, you know, some. So let’s cheer him up with a few.

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An evening in exile with Radamel Falcao

A mere 24 hours after serving as an unused substitute in Manchester United’s FA Cup loss to Arsenal (their first loss at home to Arsenal since 2006), Falcao started in a U-21 match against Spurs at Old Trafford. It wasn’t the manner in which a club usually has an on-loan player earn his £260,000 a week, but it does show the brand of anarchy currently gripping Man United.

The following is a rundown of what happened in this depressingly star-studded U-21 fixture.

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