More than 12,000 fans came to see Nani unveiled as Valencia’s latest signing, so the Portuguese winger treated them all to a rather impressive demonstration of the Brazilian martial art Capoeira. And now taekwando black belt Zlatan Ibrahimovic is likely saying “Why didn’t I think of that?!?!?” and calling for a do-over of his recent Man United unveiling.
Category: Spain
Barcelona launch misguided call to support Leo Messi’s tax fraud
Barcelona have launched a bizarre campaign to rally fans into showing support for Lionel Messi because he’s being held accountable for being guilty of tax fraud.
Messi and his father were each given a suspended sentence of 21 months in jail (meaning they won’t have to serve it) and fined a total of €3.5 million for evading millions in taxes. But apparently Barcelona feel that Messi should be above the law.
Lionel Messi sentenced to 21 months in prison or two more cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate
The Court of Catalonia has sentenced Lionel Messi to 21 months in prison or playing two more major cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate. Messi and his father, who was sentenced to 21 months in prison or going three consecutive hours without telling anyone that he is Lionel Messi’s father, were found guilty of not paying taxes on the Barcelona star’s image rights, owing €4 million to the government.
In Spain, prison sentences of less than two years are usually suspended for first-time offenders like the Messis, but Lionel told the court he would “rather spend 21 years in prison” than endure even one more cup final with Higuain there to ruin everything. Messi recently retired from international football after losing a third cup final in as many years with Argentina, thanks in part to Higuain fluffing a golden scoring opportunity, also for the third final in a row. Messi went on to miss Argentina’s first penalty in the Copa America Centenario final’s decisive shootout against Chile, as he was surely preoccupied by thoughts of murdering Higuain with a waffle iron.
When asked for comment, Diego Maradona said, “I owed the Italian government €30 million in back taxes and I didn’t need my daddy to help me do it, either. So Messi has a long way to go before he can be considered as good as me on or off the pitch. He just doesn’t have the personality to be a leader in tax evasion.”
Iker Casillas is the only one who didn’t get a thank you letter from Vicente Del Bosque
Long-time Spain goalkeeper and captain Iker Casillas was not happy about being benched in favor of the younger David De Gea at Euro 2016. So unhappy, in fact, that he wasn’t very nice to his coaches, including manager Vicente Del Bosque, with whom he also worked at Real Madrid for four years. As a result, the outgoing Del Bosque says he has written thank you letters to all his players —except Casillas — in what has to be the most passive aggressive football feud of all time.
Barcelona get swarmed by fans after winning La Liga at Granada
Barcelona beat Granada 3-0 to edge out Real Madrid to a second consecutive La Liga title by a one-point margin on the final day of the season. Given that they won the title 550 miles away from home, you might think that it would’ve been a lonely celebration, but the locals got into the spirit of the day and swarmed the Barca players on the pitch after the final whistle.
Spanish fourth division club unveil unsettling muscle structure kit
Y ahora todo el equipo pic.twitter.com/GFuZH4iL6O
— C.D. Palencia (@CDPalencia) May 12, 2016
CD Palencia, who play in the Spanish fourth division, are continuing the local tradition for bizarre kit designs with one that doubles as a human anatomy lesson. Both the shirt and shorts duplicate the muscle structure of the human body, making the wearer look like some kind of skinless freak — a disturbing sight that might intimidate opponents.
Four-year-old girl leads Alcorcon fans and players with her megaphone
Spanish second division club Alcorcon beat rivals Leganes 2-0 last week and they have four-year-old Paula to thank for getting them ready. First, Paula used her megaphone to lead her fellow supporters in song, then she went into the players’ dressing room and did the same there.
With this much adorableness on their side, it’s no wonder they won.
Diego Simeone sent off for harnessing the power of extra balls
Diego Simeone has proven himself to be a true master of organizing the perfect defense. And during Atletico Madrid’s match against Malaga, she demonstrated that sometimes the perfect defense is ordering someone to throw a second ball on the pitch in order to stop a counter attack.
The redemption of Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres’ career can be divided into two distinct parts: before he was sold to Chelsea for a then British record £50 million and after. In the “before” period, he was an unstoppable force worthy of sharing a nickname with a global weather pattern. In the “after” period, he was a punchline and the symbol of stunning ineptitude.
Phil Neville: Assistant to disaster
Gary Neville has been sacked by Valencia after just 120 days on the job. Naturally, he has received criticism for his embarrassingly brief reign — both from Valencia fans and his former colleagues in the media — but one man has largely flown under the radar in all this. And that man is Gary’s brother and assistant at Valencia, Phil Neville. The black widow of football management.