Sky Sports’ Iain Dowie doesn’t know how many three is

Former QPR and Hull manager Iain Dowie now serves as a commentator for Sky Sports News and was tasked with reporting from Chesterfield’s League One match against Colchester United on Tuesday. When he announced that Chesterfield had made it 3-0, he revealed his personal struggle with holding up the proper number of fingers by showing four of them.

Suddenly, Dowie’s modest record as a football manager is all the more impressive.

Steven Defour is bad at roulettes

When we last saw Steven Defour, he was the subject of a giant tifo made by Standard Liege fans featuring his decapitated head. He had done something unforgivable for a former Standard Liege captain by signing with Anderlecht and when he was sent off during their meeting in January, the decision was enthusiastically cheered.

Well, Defour and Anderlecht returned to the Maurice Dufrasne Stadium on Sunday and this time the midfielder was laughed at. With Standard up 3-1 late in the match, Defour tried a little too hard to make something happen for his new side and attempted a Zidane style roulette. But he ended up falling over and gifting the ball to Standard without even touching a defender.

This, my friends, is why you should think twice before committing a betrayal.

Tim Sherwood writes to the six-year-old he beat out for the Aston Villa job

(Aston Villa/Reuters)
(Aston Villa/Reuters)

Letter writing six year olds are apparently very interested in the Aston Villa manager’s job. Back in February, six-year-old Jude Branson wrote to Jose Mourinho, politely asking that he abandon the Premier League leaders to manage Villa (and bring Diego Costa with him, of course). But six-year-old Charlie Pye said “f*** Mourinho, I can do this job myself” (not an exact quote).

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic is just a bellboy who hit his head

zlatanhotel

Back in 2002, when Zlatan Ibrahimovic only just began Daring to Zlatan at Ajax, he filmed a sketch that revealed his entire career to be the dream of a concussed bellboy.

According to the clip, the elbow to the head that Zlatan suffered from a Hungarian goalkeeper while scoring for Sweden that year was actually bellhop Zlatan falling down the stairs while trying to carry too many bags

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DTotD: Flamengo player only shown a yellow for kicking opponent in the shoulder

Vasco da Gama and Flamengo played to a scoreless draw on Sunday, but just because there were no goals does not mean there were no near decapitations. Flamengo’s Jonas demonstrated his violent flexibility in the 11th minute, planting his studs into an opponent’s shoulder.

Even more incredibly though, was the fact that he was only shown a yellow card for his very dangerous high boot.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. 

If it continued… (Manchester United v Manchester City)

For the first time in five Premier League meetings, increasingly noisy neighbors Manchester United beat their reigning champion rivals Man City. They did it in emphatic fashion, too — winning 4-2 to go four points clear of fourth-place City. It was the type of result that could mark a definitive shift in the two clubs’ fortunes for years  come, but what if it continued?

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NAC Breda manager punches through the side of the dugout

Dordrecht ’90 scored twice in a span of two minutes to negate NAC Breda’s lead in the second half of their Eredivisie match on Saturday, prompting NAC manager Robert Maaskant to put his fist through his team’s dugout in a fit of rage.

Maaskant has always been a hot head, but he’s got nothing on the Italian amateur who celebrated a goal by putting his head through the side of the dugout…

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Willian breaks the mirror on an Audi during promotional shoot

Earlier this season, Willian told the press that he and Jose Mourinho agreed that he needs to score more goals. Though he’s only been able to match his total of four from last season thus far, he has now surpassed his previous career high for Audi sideview mirrors broken during promotional shoots. So that’s something.

Several Chelsea players were attempting to kick balls into strategically placed Audi TT roadsters and in a tremendous display of his pinpoint accuracy (or lack thereof), Willian busted the driver’s side mirror of one car. His teammates laughed and Loic Remy tried to fix it, but the damage was done.

Though he did get the ball into the car, something tells me that the next time Audi have Chelsea players do something for them, they’ll ask Willian to stay home.