Bari beat Varese 3-0 in Serie B on Saturday and the match produced the latest in odd goal celebration props. Bari defender Stefano Sabelli scored the home side’s second goal by heading in the rebound off a free kick that hit the post. He then ran to the bench and retrieved a Peppa Pig doll, which he held aloft towards the stands while also pushing up his nose like a pig’s.
Future News: Frank Lampard demands retroactive transfer to the club he pretended to sign for
Following Manchester City’s surprising 1-0 loss to Burnley, Frank Lampard has made it clear that he wishes to leave the club and join his “pretend home” New York City FC immediately.
Rome, Florence offering free museum admission to uncultured football fans
Feyenoord supporters caused international outrage when they damaged a 17th century fountain in Rome while partying before a Europa League match last month, prompting the mayors of Rome and Florence to launch a new initiative to try and get visiting football fans to be more respectful.
Jose Mourinho offers life advice to Danny Downer journalist
Two days after getting knocked out of the Champions League by PSG, Jose Mourinho faced the press with an eagerness to defend both his players and himself from the heavy criticism they have been receiving. One journalist who was a little too negative for Mourinho’s liking unwittingly prompted the Portuguese to demonstrate his skills as a life coach.
Artur Boruc is workout dancing and you can’t handle it
AHHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND I AM HERE TO WRECK ALL OF THE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET SAID THAT I AM “STIFF” SO I BODYSLAMMED MY COMPUTER INTO A MUFFIN FACTORY TO SHOW THE WORLD WIDE WEB THAT I MEAN WORLD WIDE BUSINESS AND THEN I FILMED A VIDEO THAT PROVES BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I AM NOT STIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have a laugh while picking all-star charity match teams
Steven Gerrard and former teammate Jamie Carragher will captain the star-studded teams set to play each other in a charity match on March 29. And when they got together to divide up the players at their disposal, they had a few laughs at their and each others’ expense.
We live in a terrible world where David Luiz feels the need to apologize for a great moment in his career
David Luiz scored an important and unexpected goal, helping his team advance to the quarterfinals of the Champions League despite being a man down for 90 minutes. Naturally, he celebrated that goal, expressing the pure joy that we all chase, but experience far too rarely. And since this all happened to occur while he was facing his former club and doing so in their stadium, he ended up apologizing for his celebration. Because we live in a miserable world where people feel compelled to apologize for expressions of happiness.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s player ratings: Chelsea Babies v PSG
Zlatan Ibrahimovic was harshly sent off 31 minutes into the second leg of the Chelsea-PSG Champions League round of 16 tie for a 50-50 challenge with Oscar. Despite being reduced to 10 men, PSG pushed a lackluster Chelsea side to extra time, where they recovered from going a goal down to advance on away goals.
After the match, Zlatan said, “The worst is when I get the red card, all the Chelsea players come around — that, for me, I don’t know, it felt like I had 11 babies around me.”
Boca Juniors celebrate Dani Osvaldo’s first goal with group photo
Argentine-born Italian striker Dani Osvaldo scored his first two goals for Boca Juniors (his fourth club in two years) in their Copa Libertadores match against Zamora. Boca were already up 3-0 when Osvaldo scored his first goal in the 69th minute, so to commemorate the occasion, he and his teammates all ran to the touchline so a member of the club’s staff could take a group photo before the match could continue.
Manuel Neuer hangs out in the center circle during Champions League match
“Hallo, @Manuel_Neuer! Schön, dass du mich mal wieder besuchen kommst. Viele Grüße, dein Mittelkreis.” #FCBFCSD 4-0 pic.twitter.com/ttfy1Ci3DN
— FC Bayern München (@FCBayern) March 11, 2015
Shakhtar Donetsk’s Olexandr Kucher earned the fastest red card in Champions League history in the third minute of his side’s round of 16 second-leg match against Bayern Munich. So Bayern took this as an unnecessary invitation to run wild, scoring seven goals over the next 84 minutes of play. And with Shakhtar pinned back, Bayern goalkeeper Manuel Neuer took the opportunity to play his favorite position: anywhere he wants.
Bayern’s official Twitter account then wrote Neuer a message from his old friend, the center circle. It reads: “Hello, Manuel Neuer! I’m glad to see that you’ve come to visit me again. Many greetings, The Center Circle.”