Zlatan will only reveal his next destination when he tires of the rumors

Despite intense speculation that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is going to reunite with old pal and fellow Coalition Against Pep member Jose Mourinho at Manchester United, he still hasn’t given any concrete indication as to what his plans for next season might be.

When asked about when he might reveal his next strategic base for global domination, the Sweden captain said, “I want you to still write a lot of stories, so I get excited when I see them because I want to see who is making up the best stories and when I’m tired of it, I’ll let you know.”

So that confirms it. Zlatan will never reveal where he will play next. Because if there’s one thing that we know for sure it’s that Zlatan never tires of stories about Zlatan.

U.S. club introduces abomination of fashion seersucker shirt

(@gorafters)
(@gorafters)

The bizarre kit arms race happening in lower divisions across the world continues with Shreveport, Louisiana NPSL (the U.S. fourth division) club Rafters FC. Perhaps inspired by Spanish side Cultural Leonesa’s tuxedo kit, Rafters have given the on-pitch formal wear idea a southern U.S. spin with the seersucker kit, complete with clownish bowtie graphic.

From the Wikipedia entry on seersucker:

The fabric was originally worn by the poor in the U.S. until preppy undergraduate students began wearing it in the 1920s in an air of reverse snobbery. Damon Runyon wrote that his new habit for wearing seersucker was “causing much confusion among my friends. They cannot decide whether I am broke or just setting a new vogue.”

I’m sure Rafters FC will cause similar confusion when they wear this thing.

DTotD: Pachuca defender pulls opponent down by his shorts to help win title

It’s the second leg of the Liga MX clausura final. Monterrey scored in the first half to pull even with Pachuca 1-1 on aggregate. In the 74th minute, Pachuca defender Aquivaldo Mosquera’s attempt at a clearance failed, giving Dorlan Pabon a clear chance on goal to take the lead. So desperation instantly takes over and Mosquera decides to take Pabon down by any means necessary. Which translates to pulling him down by his shorts.

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This is Sam Allardyce dancing the night away

This is a video of Sunderland manager Sam Allardyce going hard in Marbella, Spain after saving his club from relegation. Presumably this was filmed before he started rolling on Molly, stripped naked, and slathered himself in BBQ sauce.

If you want to compare his moves to those of other Premier League level dancers, here’s Roberto Martinez in action at a Jason Derulo concert and Peter Crouch going HAM in Ibiza…

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