Jose Mourinho hasn’t joined Manchester United yet, but stories are already being written about him shipping out Juan Mata, as he did at Chelsea in 2014. This is deeply troubling for the Spanish midfielder, so he has turned to the heavens for assistance in this dark time. This is his prayer.
Watch this Christen Press goal on a loop and live a happy life
The U.S. women’s team opened their Olympic qualifying campaign with a 5-0 win against Costa Rica and demonstrated that winning the World Cup last summer has only made them stronger.
Vicent Tan gives Cardiff City players terrible advice
We haven’t had much Vincent Tan news since Cardiff City were relegated from the Premier League two years ago, but that’s only because he’s been using this time to learn. And now, with his club sitting ninth in the Championship, he’s ready to share his knowledge with the Cardiff players and revolutionize the game at the same time.
The Columbus Crew unveil MLS’s ugliest kit for 2016
Remember a couple hours ago when I implied that NYCFC’s new kit wasn’t all that good looking? Well, I take it back. It’s gorgeous compared to the abomination the Columbus Crew just unveiled.
Liverpool owners make apology/warning about ticket price proposal
Responding swiftly to the protests of their club’s supporters over a proposed ticket price increase, Liverpool’s owners have released an apology letter that backtracks from the unpopular price hike.
David Villa, Andrea Pirlo, and Poku surpise NYCFC fans with new shirt
NYCFC’s new away shirt isn’t Adidas’ best effort by any means, but the video the club put together to introduce it is rather well done. They set up three fans to think they were part of a documentary, but while filming each of them at work, they had an NYCFC player surprise them with an unannounced visit.
Xavi might be cursed
Xavi left Barcelona at the end of last season having won more trophies than any other Spanish footballer in history. He could have retired as a one-club legend and gone out with a treble-winning season, but he chose to follow the money to Qatar and join Al Sadd on a multi-year deal.
Fight against overpriced tickets finds a leader in hilarious Irish Liverpool fan
(Warning: delightfully NSFW language)
Liverpool fans staged a walkout in the 77th minute of their club’s match against Sunderland (Liverpool were up 2-0 at the time, but finished with a 2-2 draw) on Saturday to protest the news that the highest priced tickets in the new main stand next season would be £77.
Outside Anfield, YouTube fan channel Redmen TV interviewed an Irish supporter who had strong feelings on the matter. And in this interview, a new leader emerged.
“Looking at a city like Liverpool, it’s a working class city, you can’t be charging be charging £77 a ticket,” he began, calmly enough.
The more he spoke, the more impassioned he became, and the more he began to swear.
“Seventy seven pound…to watch THAT! Are you fookin’ mad?! James Milner! What the fook?! You’re mad! Jordan Henderson is your captain! Fook off! Honestly…honestly…would you pay 77 pound to see fokin’ Jordan Henderson kick a ball against a wall? NO! Foke off.”
As the Football Supporters Federation looks to organize a mass walkout at matches across the Premier League over this issue, it’s clear that this Liverpool fan is the man to lead this revolution against greed and price gouging. Not because he’d be certain to bring change, but because I just want to hear him rant about James Milner some more.
Carlos Tevez has an impressive Bombonera foosball table
We know Carlos Tevez loves Boca Juniors since he left Europe to return to the club where his career began, but it goes even farther than that. Tevez is now the proud owner of a La Bombonera foosball table that is serious business. All this thing is missing is a tiny Maradona jumping around in the stands.
Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated development, Tevez’s former teammate at Juventus, Paul Pogba, now has Pokemon hair.
The Barclays Premier League is dead
When the 2015/16 season ends, so will the Barclays Premier League. Starting next season, it will officially go by the name everyone who isn’t contractually obligated to say “Barclays” (or a corporate wonk) uses now: “Premier League.”