We all have our verbal crutches and Arsene Wenger’s is apparently the phrase, “look, uh…”
Listening to him say it over and over will hypnotize you into not asking too many questions and believing that finishing fourth every year is all you should ever ask for.
Roy Keane quit his job as Aston Villa’s assistant manager in the last week of November. At the time, he said the reason for his decision was so he could devote himself more fully to his role as Ireland’s assistant manager and spend time with his family. The truth is that he really wanted to fulfill his lifelong dream of being mall Santa Claus in the United States.
Keane grew out his beard in recent months just to see if he could pull it off. Pleased with the results, he decided now was the time to make his dream come true. The following is a transcript of his first day on the job.
Though Zlatan Ibrahimovic recently described himself as “god,” there is one person on this planet that he still thinks of more highly than himself. And that’s the original Ronaldo, Il Fenomeno.
“Thanks for the memories but it’s time to say goodbye”? Why? Are you going somewhere? Off to support Chelsea perhaps? Because here’s a timeline of how my week went: I beat Jurgen Klopp — the guy you probably want to replace me— 2-0 at home in the Champions League, and then I went to the Hawthorns and beat West Brom — the strongest of the Premier League’s currently 15th-place teams — with a goal from the player that I am quickly turning into the new Thierry Henry.
In other words, I’m still making memories for which you should be thanking me. So if anyone should leave, it’s you, Bendtner brains. WA-BAM!
This is 39-year-old Brazilian footballer Aloisio Chulapa, who won the Club World Cup with Sao Paulo in 2005, swimming in a pool with a whole bunch of beer floating in it. This is apparently how he decided to prepare for his son’s wedding.
As Lionel Messi found out during a recent Audi event, riding in a car driven by Gerard Pique will make your life flash before your eyes.
Louis van Gaal poses with Man United’s defenders.
Black Friday has claimed a fresh batch of souls, which means the holiday season has arrived. Never ones to sit out a shameless cash grab, football clubs have upped their seasonal merchandising efforts in order to ensure that they can make all the inevitably disappointing signings they want during the January transfer window. And the resulting apparel looks like gunk vomited up by an elf who mixed egg nog with gingerbread meth. Which is good news for us.
