Artur Boruc is workout dancing and you can’t handle it

AHHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND I AM HERE TO WRECK ALL OF THE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET SAID THAT I AM “STIFF” SO I BODYSLAMMED MY COMPUTER INTO A MUFFIN FACTORY TO SHOW THE WORLD WIDE WEB THAT I MEAN WORLD WIDE BUSINESS AND THEN I FILMED A VIDEO THAT PROVES BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I AM NOT STIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WATCH AS I DANCE AND WORKOUT AT THE SAME TIME WITH ALL THE GRACE AND RYTHEM OF AN UNDEAD MICHAEL JACKSON FIGHTING A PACK OF RABID ANTELOPES!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HAT IS ASKEW BECAUSE HIP-HOP IS SOMETHING THAT I UNDERSTAND ON A VERY DEEP AND MEANINGFUL LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH I AM STARTING TO REGRET THROWING MY IPOD SPEAKERS AT THE SUN FOR BEING A COWARD AND HIDING FROM ME EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!!! I WOULD BE WORKOUT DANCING SO MUCH BETTER IF I WAS LISTENING TO MY EXTENSIVE PLAYLIST OF TAYLOR SWIFT DOWNLOADS RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF THIS OLD BOOM BOX AND CASSETTE TAPE WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTICE HOW I POINT DIRECTLY AT YOU AT THE END OF THE VIDEO AS IF TO SAY “THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS STIFF NOW IS YOU SINCE MY INCREDIBLE WORKOUT DANCING MADE YOUR BODY RIGID WITH FEAR AND CONFUSING SEXUAL EMOTIONS AND YOU CAN’T HANDLE ANY OF THIS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE TO LISTEN AHHHHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU STILL LOOKING AT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

ANYWAY I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THAT’S MY WORKOUT DANCING MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!! NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME I MUST RETURN TO FIGHTING THE CORN MENACE AND ALL OF ITS VEGETABLE SYMPATHIZERS WHILE ALSO PLAYING IN GOAL FOR BOURNEMOUTH AND MAINTAINING THIS FACIAL EXPRESSION FOR ALL LONG AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE:

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 comments

  1. Jennifer says:

    I was going to ask why this wasn’t set to a Taylor Swift song, but then Artur screamed the answer at me. THANK YOU, ARTUR!!!!!!!!! (Someone needs to take up a collection to buy him some new IPod speakers.)

    • Artur B. says:

      AHHHHHHHHH PLEASE DESIST FROM USING ALL CAPS IN COMMENTS!!!! THAT IS MY THING!!! IT IS A POWER THAT WAS BESTOWED ON ME BY THE EGYPTIAN SUN GOD WHEN I TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO STOP THE CORN MENACE AT THE BEGINNING OF HUMAN AGRICULTURE!!! EVEN THOUGH THE SUN GOD WAS ACTUALLY JUST A GUY I PUNCHED INTO THE SUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      IF YOU DO NOT DESIST I WILL VOMIT KEROSENE ON YOUR FRONT LAWN WHILE DOING A SEXY WORK OUT DANCE WITH YOUR FUTURE WIFE!!! I WILL WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS INTO HER EAR UNTIL SHE BURSTS INTO FLAMES LIKE ME IN A ROOM FULL OF TAYLOR SWIFT LOOKALIKES!!!! AHHHHHHHH THE KEROSENE ONLY INTENSIFIES THE FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      SINCERELY YOURS,
      ARTUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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