Tag: Manchester City

Pep Guardiola is apparently surprised Man City haven’t sacked him yet

Guardiola says some things that should’ve been left unsaid


(Man City)

It’s been a disappointing first season in the Premier League for Pep Guardiola. No title challenge, no trophies—the goalkeeper he brought in, Claudio Bravo, was a shambles before getting hurt. And now Guardiola is making things worse with his mouth.

From ESPN FC:

“Pressure I had when I arrived in Barcelona, when I had nothing to defend [myself with]. At that club, if in six months you don’t win, you are really out, like Barcelona or Bayern Munich, there you have to win by far. If not, they don’t give you a second chance.

“Here they gave me a second chance and we will try to do it. In my situation at a big club, I’m sacked, I’m out, sure, definitely. At the clubs I worked at before I am not here, but here we have a second chance and we will try to do it better than this season.”

Whoa whoa whoa. Is Pep drunk? Has this lack of success caused him to go insane? No part of this statement should’ve been said out loud in front of reporters. “In my situation at a big club, I’m sacked, I’m out, sure, definitely” — really, Pep? Your word selection has gotten just as bad as your team selection.

The only possible explanation for these comments is that he’s trying to subtly point out that Jose Mourinho has done worse with more and should be sacked, too. That or he’s drunk.

OK, he’s definitely drinking before press conferences. Case closed.

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Carli Lloyd resumes her domination at Wembley, helps Man City win FA Cup

City are establishing themselves as a dominant force in English women’s football

(Wembley Stadium/Twitter)

Back in 2012, Carli Lloyd made her mark at Wembley when she scored both goals in the U.S.’s 2–1 win over Japan in the Olympic gold medal match. On Saturday, she returned to Wembley with Manchester City to face Birmingham in the Women’s FA Cup final and once again she found the back of the net.

With City already up 2–0 at the half-hour mark after goals from Lucy Bronze and Izzy Christiansen, Lloyd jumped out of her boots to head in a spectacular ball from Megan Campbell to make it 3–0. City went on to win their first Women’s FA Cup 4–1.

Despite losing the Champions League semifinals to Lyon and Alex Morgan, City have now won the three trophies in the last nine months with last season’s WSL title and the Continental Cup.

Lloyd’s loan spell with the club will end at the conclusion of the WSL Spring Series, which wraps up on June 3. So she still has another chance to add to her trophy haul before returning to the Houston Dash and the NWSL. Given Lloyd’s track record, Manchester City might want to look into playing the rest of their matches at Wembley.

Man City given two-year academy transfer ban, are shocked to learn they have an academy

“I thought it was just there for decoration,” said director of football Txiki Begiristain

(Man City)

The Premier League has given Man City a two-year academy transfer ban and fined them £300,000 for improper conduct related to the signing of two youth-team players, ages 11 and 15.

From ESPN FC:

The statement said City “will be prohibited from registering any academy players in the under-10 to under-18 age range who have been registered with a Premier League or EFL club in the preceding 18 months.”

It added: “This ban will last for two years. The period of this ban from 30 June 2018 onwards will be suspended for three years to be activated in the event of any similar breach by the club.

These sanctions likely won’t have much of an impact on City’s first team, as Kelechi Iheanacho is just about the only member of the squad to have spent any time in the club’s own academy. And his spell there was a brief one.

City opened a state-of-the-art £200 million academy in 2014.

“We have players there?!” said a shocked Txiki Begiristain, Man City’s director of football, when asked for comment on the ban. “I thought it was just for decoration. Like a large statue or a bird feeder. I offer the Premier League my personal assurance that we will clear the rest of these kids out of there and we’ll do it quickly. That facility cost a lot of money and we don’t want any children messing it up.”

Asked if the ban will impact Pep Guardiola’s plans for the first team, Begiristain said, “Not at all. We’ll just spend a lot of money on the fully developed products of other clubs’ academies like we always do.”

Arsene Wenger celebrates having just the second most disappointing team at Wembley

In a battle of underachievers, Arsenal come out on top

Sitting seventh in the Premier League and the subject of an international meme calling for his dismissal, Arsene Wenger hasn’t had much to celebrate this season. So when Arsenal beat fellow high-profile disappointments Man City in the FA Cup semifinals, Wenger couldn’t help but briefly celebrate like he just blew up the Death Star.

In actuality, he just took a little more air out of the already deflated reputation of the once infallible Pep Guardiola, who, it should be noted, still occupies Wenger’s beloved fourth place in the Premier League while, again, Arsenal are in seventh.

Kun Aguero opened the scoring for City in the second half, but Nacho Monreal equalized for Arsenal soon after. The two underwhelming sides then plodded into extra time, where Alexis Sanchez issued a “For the love of God, get me out of here!” plea in the form of a 101st-minute winner.

From Wenger’s reaction to the victory, you might think that Arsenal would be facing a non-league team for the third time in the last four rounds (this isn’t counting Man City, who only play like a non-league side occasionally) come the final, but they’ll actually face Chelsea. And Didier Drogba has already threatened to return to England so he can continue to terrorize them.

But enough negativity. This was Arsene’s day. We should let him enjoy it. Because when your world is crumbling around you, it’s moments like this that prevent you from strangling Hector Bellerin for embarrassing everyone with his James Franco cosplay hairdo.

Man City are making all their players dress like Pep Guardiola

Tactical turtlenecks for everyone!

(Man City)

Pep Guardiola has a distinctive fashion sense. It’s that of a spy performing smooth jazz at a ski resort. He’s fond of the suit and turtleneck combo (Exhibits A through 100). And now Man City have everyone at the club doing it.

For the trip to Monaco ahead of their Champions League round of 16 second-leg match, all the players and staff looked like they were cosplaying as Guardiola as some kind of gag, but this is what they were required to wear.

Which way to the hitman convention? (Man City)

Kevin De Bruyne looking like he’s dressed for a family Christmas card photo (Man City)

Raheem Sterling makes it work (Man City)

A man in his element (Man City)

Next up: All players and staff will be required to shave their heads and maintain stylish beard stubble on match days.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Pep Guardiola’s tactical masterplan for Man City’s 5–3 win over Monaco

A wild match that went how Guardiola always knew it would


Man City squandered a first-half lead, then mounted an emphatic comeback to beat Monaco 5–3 in the first leg of the Champions League round of 16 tie. Needless to say, the match went exactly to plan for Pep Guardiola. At least, more so than most things have for him this season. Here are the full details of the brilliant tacticians pre-match instructions.

  • Instruct Willy Caballero to play like a 45-year-old non-league goalkeeper who just ate a half dozen pies.
  • Have John Stones defend like a deflating beachball, but shoot like Pele in a World Cup final.
  • Let Falcao score two goals just to confuse Man United fans, but also stop his penalty attempt because you’re not running a charity here.
  • Tell Sergio Aguero to try and play like Gabriel Jesus.
  • Hold up Mesut Özil’s defensive work rate as an example for the entire midfield to emulate.
  • Concede three away goals because keeping clean sheets is an antiquated philosophy.
  • Don’t do whatever it was that Barcelona did against PSG.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/