Author: Brooks Peck

Real Madrid start ineligible player in Copa del Rey, everyone laughs at Rafa Benitez

Everything was going so well in Real Madrid’s Copa del Rey round of 32 first-leg match against third division Cadiz. Denis Cheryshev scored in just the third minute to give them a fast lead and Rafa Benitez had to feel he was on his way to proving his doubters wrong and holding onto his job at least until the end of the calendar year.

But then word started to filter through social media that Cheryshev shouldn’t have been eligible to play due to yellow card accumulation in the tournament last season with Villarreal.

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Gary Neville can’t pass up chance to boss around his little brother at Valencia

Sky Sports pundit and assistant manager of the England national team Gary Neville has accepted the position of Valencia manager, an unexpected move that suddenly puts him in an official position of power over younger brother Phil, who joined the Spanish club as an assistant last summer. It is immediately clear that Gary’s primary reason for taking this job is so he can tell Phil what to do.

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Why none of the 2015 Ballon d’Or finalists deserve the award

The Ballon d’or nominees have been announced and, as usual, everyone has opinions on them. Even the nominees themselves. Neymar thinks Cristiano Ronaldo should have been left out and Luis Suarez should have been included, Cristiano thinks Lionel Messi will win, and Messi probably thinks they should all skip the Ballon d’Or gala and go to Legoland instead.

None of these men deserve the award, though. So, without further ado, let’s get to pointing out the failings of these magnificent athletes.

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Reus and Aubameyang’s synchronized warm-up is adorable

Borussia Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Marco Reus are teammates, in-match Batman and Robin cosplayers, and ultimate BFFs. They even have a synchronized warm-up routine that might qualify as the best ballet I’ve ever seen.

If that didn’t completely melt you heart, here are a few more things that will finish the job…

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Cesc Fabregas has forgotten how to football

Cesc Fabregas’ first few months with Chelsea last season were quite good. Ever since then, he has gotten progressively worse to the point where it’s amazing he hasn’t tried to eat the ball and required the Heimlich maneuver from Kurt Zouma.

Speaking of eating the ball, he tried to force feed it to Willian at a thousand miles per hour during Chelsea’s 0-0 draw with Spurs…

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Jose Mourinho unimpressed with Diego Costa’s bib toss

Jose Mourinho and the shell of the footballer known as Diego Costa reportedly got into a verbal altercation at halftime of Chelsea’s 4-0 win against Maccabi Tel Aviv in the middle of the week, but Mourinho claimed after the match that the two made up with “kisses and cuddles.” Which can only be code for fighting each other until their bodies could no longer function due to blood loss.

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Jamie Vardy wears gold boots, scores in record 11th consecutive Premier League game

The stage was set for Jamie Vardy to make history in style. After scoring in 10 consecutive Premier League games, matching Ruud van Nistelrooy’s record, Vardy’s first-place Leicester City (which is a true fact in real life) happened to go up against Van Nistelrooy’s old club, second-place Man United.

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Mesut Ozil, Freddy Adu are the kings of Twitter product promotion

Footballers have been promoting products on social media for years now, but Mesut Ozil and Freddy Adu have recently infused this soulless practice with a wonderful touch of emotion and artistic flourish.

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