Author: Brooks Peck

Didier Drogba gets carried off by his teammates in his final match with the club

Prior to Chelsea’s final match of the season, Didier Drogba announced that it would be his last with the club (as a player, at least).

“I want to play for at least one more season and in order to play more football I feel I need to go to another club,” he told Chelsea’s official website. “All the fans know my love for Chelsea and I hope to be back here in the future in another role.”

Drogba started Chelsea’s Premier League finale against Sunderland and, given the occasion, his teammates decided that he should wear the captain’s armband for it. Their show of love and respect for the 37-year-old striker continued when Diego Costa came on for Drogba just before the half hour mark and the other Chelsea players carried the slightly embarrassed Ivorian to a standing ovation.

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Cristiano Ronaldo hints at starting a farm supply business with Carlo Ancelotti

Since Carlo Ancelotti delivered Real Madrid’s long awaited 10th Champions League title last season instead of this season, club president Florentino Perez is reportedly itching to sack him now. So after Real Madrid’s final match of the season — a 7-3 win against Getafe that left them just two points shy of Barcelona’s tremendous title winning campaign — Ancelotti revealed his feelings on the matter.

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DTotD: Player sent off for cynical challenge on football playing BBQ sauce bottle mascot

Central Coast Mariners held a testimonial for retiring captain John Hutchinson and the match included a mascot dressed as a BBQ sauce bottle, because why the hell not?

The sauce bottle weaved its way through a group of players loitering around the middle of the pitch to set itself up for a clear shot on goal, but Brent Griffiths cut the bottle down with a vicious tackle from behind. This earned Griffiths a red card. In a testimonial. Against a sauce bottle.

The match also included a ball boy in goal at one point and ended 12-5 in favor of Hutchinson’s team. The main takeaway from all of this, however, is that the world needs more footballing BBQ sauce bottles.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. 

Video via The Mirror 

Borussia Dortmund fans thank Jurgen Klopp with brilliant display

It’s been a strange and difficult season for Borussia Dortmund. Just three months ago, the players were trying to calm irate fans as the team sat at the very bottom of the Bundesliga table. But the final league match of the season — and Jurgen Klopp’s final home match with the club — proved to be a sentimental affair with a happy ending.

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Xavi’s letter to Qatar: A formal announcement of his impending arrival

Xavi has announced that he will leave Barcelona at the end of the season and join Qatari club Al-Sadd on a two-year contract. The end of Xavi’s extraordinary 24 years with Barca, from La Masia to winning 23 trophies with the first team, will be an emotional one. But he’s looking forward to his new adventure in Qatar — not only on the pitch, but in his new position with the Aspire Academy and as an ambassador for the 2022 World Cup. 

This is Xavi’s letter to the people of his new home… 

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Luis Figo suddenly realizes that FIFA elections aren’t on the level, abandons campaign

Poor, handsome Luis Figo. After months of traveling the world, holding up a manifesto, and touting himself as the man to reform FIFA, he has abruptly dropped his idealistic bid to become president of football’s governing body upon arriving at the shocking realization that the election might not be totally fair. Like someone applying to be CEO of slaughterhouse rescinding their application after finding out that they get their meat by killing animals.

If only someone had told him of this certainty before he went to the trouble of coming up with a hashtag.

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