The earnest question of whether Lionel Messi could do it on a cold, wet night in Stoke has persisted as a cliched joke for a few years now. So when Barcelona surprisingly sold Bojan, a 24-year-old once hyped as the next Messi, to Stoke City, the only explanation was that Messi personally asked him to go there on an expedition to see if the conditions in this mythical place are as challenging as the fables suggest. This is Bojan’s eighth letter back to his friend.
An emotional retrospective of Ashley Cole’s time at Roma
Ashley Cole’s brief spell at Roma has come to an end. With Arsenal, he won two Premier League titles and three FA Cups. With Chelsea, he won one Premier League title, four FA Cups, and a Champions League title. And with Roma, he was in that one picture where he stood an awkward distance from the rest of his teammates that became a meme.
But his time in Italy was so much more than that one image. Let’s take a fond look back on the end of an era…
Luiz Adriano went all the way to China to not sign a contract
Just six months after moving to Milan in an €8 million deal, Luiz Adriano was the subject of a €14 million agreement between Milan and Jiangsu Suning. With Chinese Super League clubs throwing around increasingly ridiculous sums of money for seemingly random players, this development wasn’t all that surprising, especially since Milan are developing a habit of quickly unloading strikers who don’t immediately meet expectations.
The only correct opinion on Jordan Morris’ career choices
Jordan Morris is a 21-year-old striker who has played for the Seattle Sounder’s youth academy and Stanford University. He’s made seven appearances for the U.S. national team, scoring one goal against Mexico. U.S. fans and media have identified him as their next great hope and have become heavily invested in his career decisions as a result, benefitting no one.
Tattoo prompts Mario Balotelli to question fan’s sanity
Mario Balotelli is a man who is intimately familiar with crazy. Throw darts at youth team players? Done it. Letting friend set off fireworks in the bathroom of a rented mansion? Yep. Show up early to training and urinate on teammates’ boots? Of course.
So when Mario questions your sanity for getting his name and shirt number tattooed on your back, you know you’ve made a regrettable life choice. At least the rest of us know where to draw the line now, though.
Man City legends face Dude Perfect in a “violent” game of bubble football
The Dude Perfect team went to England to partake in a variety of football themed activities, including a game of bubble football against a team of Man City old boys.
DTotD: RKO outta nowhere and into a puddle
Normally the Dirty Tackle of the Day is a vicious challenge on an opponent, but this time we have something far more literal. This video is from a high school match in Tallahassee, Florida and it’s actually a goal celebration that sees a player RKO Outta Nowhere his teammate into a large puddle/small lake along the touchline. It’s dirty and majestic. 10/10.
Thanks to Philipp Detscher for sharing!
Iker Casillas’ hands have turned to stone
The bottomless hole of sadness that is Iker Casillas continues to plumb new depths of pain and horror. Just four minutes into Porto’s match against Guimaraes, Iker tried to catch the ball after it ricocheted off an opponent and popped up into the air. He couldn’t hold it, though, allowing Bouba to score.
The key to Wayne Rooney’s resurgence: making himself invisible
After scoring just two goals in the first five months of the Premier League season — prompting rampant speculation that the clock had struck midnight on his career and turned him into a pumpkin — Wayne Rooney has now scored four goals in his first three league matches of the new year (and five in four overall).
Though many will say this is proof of his resurgence, it’s actually just evidence of a new strategy that is proving effective for him.
John Terry scores late offside backheel equalizer against Everton
John Terry has once again done what he does best: infuriate large swathes of humanity.