Zlatan explains the importance of Malmo FF to him in brilliant short film

Zlatan Ibrahimovic began his career with his hometown club, Malmo FF. He left the club 14 years ago, but now, for the first time, he will return as the opposition when PSG face them in the Champions League next week.

In the short film above, which was produced by Malmo, Zlatan explains what the club, the city, and this opportunity means to him. The genuine passion, joy, and excitement makes it a great watch.

In the video, he also reiterates his plan to show the match in the city’s main square so everyone can watch it together and for free. It’s just fun to see a player so emotionally invested in a specific match.

Everything you need to know about El Clasico

El Clasico is a match played several times per season between Team Messi (sometimes referred to as “FC Barcelona”) and Team Cristiano (sometimes referred to as “Real Madrid”). It is the biggest rivalry in world football thanks entirely to the existence of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, the only two footballers worth talking about.

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Man arrested for trying to punch Crystal Palace’s bald eagle

Two years after a Newcastle fan was jailed for punching a police horse, a man has now been jailed for attempting to punch Crystal Palace’s bald eagle mascot Kayla. And now English football officially has an animal punching epidemic.

From the Croydon Advertiser:

The incident allegedly occurred during Palace’s Capital One Cup clash with rivals Charlton on September 23.

The 34-year-old from Welling was arrested this morning (Friday) on suspicion of violent disorder and attempted criminal damage.

He remains in custody at a south London police station.

Not only is he lucky he wasn’t murdered by eagle for being stupid enough to provoke it (those things are strong!), but he’s also lucky he didn’t do this in the United States, where killing the national bird carries a maximum $250,000 fine or two years in prison.

Stop trying to punch animals, football fans.

DTotD: Vasco defender kicks opponent in the face

Vasco da Gama defender Rodrigo was a split second too late to the ball, so he settled for the next best thing and kicked Corinthians’ Malcom in the face instead.

Rodrigo was already on a yellow at the time, so this was more than enough to get him a second booking and an early shower. Malcom somehow continued on in the match, albeit with just one eyebrow still attached to his head.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Thanks to Ryan Lloyd for the tip!

Bermondsey Millwall Den and other egregious football themed baby names

Millwall fan Mike Bloomfield decided to name his newborn son Bermondsey Millwall Den Bloomfield without telling his wife (“Hey honey, you know that child you carried inside your body for nine months and then expelled in an unimaginably painful experience? Yeah, I gave it a ridiculous name behind your back! Love youuuuuu!”). For those who have no idea what any of those words mean, Bermondsey is the district of London in which Millwall play and The Den is their stadium.

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Wayne Rooney condemns selection of David Beckham as the Sexiest Man Alive

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This has been a very difficult year for me. I can’t even go to a WWE event without the wrestlers putting me down in front of my children. Yes, I was fortunate enough to break the England scoring record, but there was something else that I truly wanted to achieve this year. Something that I deserved and worked hard to obtain. I wanted to be named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. But they’ve wrongly given it to David Beckham and I am outraged.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic helped a group of police officers take a selfie with him

As the Swedish national team arrived back at their hotel after Zlatan Ibrahimovic claimed their place in Euro 2016 and retired all of Denmark, one of the police officers stationed outside the door decided that vigilance and professionalism are nowhere near as important as getting a selfie with Zlatan. A decision all of us can agree is the correct one.

So he asked. And being the generous deity that he is, Zlatan stopped and leaned in for the photo while the three officers there eagerly huddled together to get in the shot. Seeing this happening without her, another officer came running over to squeeze in.

Now with five people trying to fit in the frame, the officer holding the phone couldn’t hold it far enough away to make it work. Seeing his mortal struggle, Zlatan then took the phone and used his longer, more powerful arm to get the job done.

Praise Zlatan and his infinite generosity.