Zlatan makes supremely Zlatan return to Malmo

It’s been a date Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been looking forward to since the Champions League draw was made, and really for the last 14 years — playing against his first club, Malmo FF, in his hometown of Malmo. Zlatan spoke of the importance of the occasion to him and he booked the main square so everyone could watch.

But it wasn’t just Zlatan who was excited. The night before the match, the city’s tallest building had a giant, neon blue Z at the top of it and a local sponsor put up posters of Zlatan to welcome him home.

Read more

Jurgen Klopp interviewed by a nine-year-old, is impossible to hate

I dare you to watch this video of Jurgen Klopp being interviewed by a nine-year-old (who you might remember from his equally endearing interview with Kolo Toure) and not come away loving the guy. I dare you. It’s impossible.

There are too many great moments to highlight, so just watch the whole thing and accept that Jurgen Klopp is just a delight. After this, I almost hope he gets sacked by Liverpool immediately so he can become a teacher because he would be great at it.

Sound like I’m slathering on the praise? Watch the video and you’ll think I’m holding back.

Random musings of Jamie Vardy before he falls asleep…

Right, so that’s the Ballon d’Or speech sorted. If I mention them in it, I’ll definitely get free Nando’s for life. … Remember, if you get another call from Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi asking you for advice, it’s probably just Robert Huth thinking he’s funny again. … Unless it isn’t. … When I make the move to Real Madrid, I’m going to make everyone pronounce my name “Hamie.” Just have to hope that a name that sounds like “ham” doesn’t ruin my Nando’s chicken deal. … Never going to get tired of saying “It’s-a me, Claudio!” to the boss. Never. … In hindsight, the assault and the racism probably weren’t best for my personal brand. … I’ve got to finish Chat Shit Get Banged: The Musical tomorrow. Andrew Lloyd Webber sounded serious on the phone when he said he wanted that done this week. … Score in 10 straight Premier League matches and I’m rated 71 in FIFA 16. Somebody better get sacked for that. … What if I score in every single match I play in for the rest of my life? What if I’m magic? … I’ll probably get invited to the secret word-class footballers’ WhatsApp group soon. … Need to pitch Burberry on my own line of cardigans called Vardigans. … Hamie Vardy … Hamie Vardy … Hamie Vardy …

If it continued… (Real Madrid v Barcelona)

The Santiago Bernabeu was pushed to the desperate act of waving of white handkerchiefs as Barcelona defeated Real Madrid 4-0. It was a show of complete domination from Barca that further weakened Rafa Benitez’s authority over Real Madrid and exposed a gulf in quality between the two rivals. When the final whistle charitably blew, it seemed to preempt further destruction that could have wrought untold hysteria. And so, it is our solemn duty to ask “What if it continued?”

Read more