Jose Mourinho just wants to win so young Chelsea fans don’t get bullied

Chelsea finally won a match, beating Dynamo Kiev 2-1 with a superb Willian free kick in the 83rd minute. It was a win Jose Mourinho desperately needed, as reports of him only having a match or two left before he gets sacked intensify. And though fans at Stamford Bridge chanted his name and showed their support for him throughout the game, Mourinho made it clear afterwards that his thoughts are with the kids in this difficult time.

Said Mourinho (via the Telegraph):

“It’s easy for kids to go to school in a Chelsea shirt when Chelsea win every match. It’s not easy for 11 or 12-year-old kids to go to school with a Chelsea shirt when Chelsea are losing matches, when probably they are bullied by other kids whose teams are winning.”

With Arsenal losing 5-1 to Bayern, it’s probably not the Chelsea kids who have to worry about getting laughed at this week.

Louis van Gaal called Chris Smalling “Michael” again

Back in July, Louis van Gaal called Chris Smalling “Mike” during a press conference. With Smalling sitting right next to him. The name stuck for Smalling, who happened to speak about it a few weeks ago.

From the Guardian:

“The players don’t call me Mike, but a lot of the fans do,” Smalling said with a smile after United’s 0-0 draw with Manchester City last month.

“Even if you go to Russia or wherever, it’s ‘Mike! Mike! Mike!’

“It’s going to stick with me forever, that one.”

Well, Van Gaal has only gone and done it again, this time after Man United’s 1-0 win over CSKA Moscow in the Champions. But this time, he’s gone for the more formal “Michael.”

“David De Gea saved us,” Van Gaal said, getting his goalkeeper’s name right. “And after that, Michael Smalling saved us.”

At this point, Smalling should probably just change his name. It’s the only way now.

Greater Manchester, Merseyside police backtrack on failed attempts at Twitter banter

Tweeting is never a good idea and it turns out this is even true if you’re the police. Both the Greater Manchester and Merseyside police departments demonstrated this over the weekend with their now deleted attempts at football related banter.

Following another lackluster performance from Wayne Rooney in Manchester United’s 0-0 draw with Crystal Palace, the weekend tweeter on one of the Greater Manchester Police’s accounts (“DS Dave”) decided to put out a missing persons alert on him…

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DTotD: Didier Drogba pulls goalkeeper’s leg, gets meme’d

Didier Drogba has been showing his MLS opposition who’s boss with 12 goals in 13 matches since joining the league, but in Sunday’s playoff game against Columbus, he showed goalkeeper Steve Clark what happens when you stop him from scoring. You get your leg pulled.

Clark had the ball at his feet at the edge of the box when Drogba saw an opportunity to try and make a tackle and strip him of it, but Clark got the pass off just in time and Drogba took him down, then pulled his leg as he tried to get back up. Because…reasons.

Drogba was shown a yellow card and Montreal went on to win the first leg of the tie 2-1. Our friends at Howler Magazine, meanwhile, got busy with photoshop…

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Barcelona apologize after costumed players interrupt wrong press conference

Following Barcelona’s 2-0 win at Getafe, several Barca players decided to get into the Halloween spirit and dress up in costumes. They then attempted to put those costumes to use by invading the press room to scare manager Luis Enrique only to find that Luis Enrique wasn’t there. Instead, a very confused Getafe player, Victor Rodriguez stared at them as they busted in screaming and yelling.

Quickly realizing their mistake the Barca players quietly hurried out the back of the room.

Later, the club issued an official apology on their website.

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Jose Mourinho has “nothing to say” after loss to Liverpool

It started off well enough for Chelsea with Ramires putting them up 1-0 against Liverpool in just the fourth minute, but the quagmire this season has become for the club eventually swallowed them up. Liverpool came back to win 3-1 with their last two goals taking deflections off Chelsea defenders.

This gives Chelsea an astonishing six losses in their first 11 matches — the worst start to a Premier League title defense ever.

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