You’re dumb. And because you’re dumb, you’re going to fight me for saying that you’re dumb and then you’re the one who is going to get in trouble for fighting because that’s how dumb you are.
You’re dumb, fight me by Diego Costa
Tim Sherwood is referring to himself in the third person
Aston Villa have now lost four of their six Premier League matches so far this season after getting beat 1-0 by West Brom and manager Tim Sherwood wants you to know that this is good news. He also wants you to know that his name is Tim Sherwood.
Italy scorer consoles Georgia keeper after 6-1 win in Women’s Euro qualifer
Georgia jumped out to an early 1-0 lead in just the third minute of their Euro 2017 qualifier against Italy, but then reality took hold and Italy went on to win 6-1.
The result was apparently too much for Georgia goalkeeper Tamar Nadirashvili, who dropped to her knees in tears when the final whistle blew.
Former Russia captain claims racism doesn’t exist in Russia, is insane
Racism doesn’t exist in Russia. But it was brought to the country from other places. Like fashion. But racist incidents are just for fun.
These are the absolutely insane assertions of former Russia captain and 2018 World Cup ambassador Alexei Smertin.
Andros Townsend’s girlfriend thought he was fined because of a Football Manager screencap
@FootballManager do you wanna tell her or shall I? @Hazelosullivan1 pic.twitter.com/3GkgMEgiMy
— andros townsend (@andros_townsend) September 18, 2015
Football Manager has long blurred the lines between fiction and reality for thousands of addicts around the world, but now it’s confusing footballers’ girlfriends too.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic ensures that all of Malmö can watch his homecoming
We know that Zlatan is a vengeful god, but he is benevolent too. When PSG drew Malmö, his first club and hometown team, he said it was a “dream.”
“Too bad that all of Malmö won’t fit in the stadium,” he added after the draw three weeks ago. Well, he’s done his best to make alternate accommodations.
On his social media accounts, Zlatan announced that he has booked the Main Square in Malmö on November 25 when PSG visit for the two clubs’ second Champions League meeting (PSG won 2-0 in Paris already). The match will be shown for everyone who can’t fit in the stadium, so there will be no excuse for anyone to miss Zlatan’s triumphant return.
Zlatan also promised more surprises for the day, which probably means that there will be Pep Guardiola piñatas filled with bottles of Zlatan’s new cologne strung up around town.
Claudio Ranieri offers to buy pizza for his players if they keep a clean sheet
Leicester City are off to a surprising undefeated start, second only to Man City in the Premier League, thanks to new manager Claudio Ranieri. Though it’s difficult to find negatives about their five league matches of the season, one area where they could improve is defensively, having allowed seven goals — more than any other club in the top half of the table except for Norwich.
So to try and motivate his players to concede fewer goals, Ranieri has offered an incentive: free pizza.
Frank Lampard scores first MLS goal more than a year after first pretending to join NYCFC
Welcome Frank Lampard. #NYCvTOR https://t.co/X9RdM8I2BC
— Major League Soccer (@MLS) September 17, 2015
Wearing the captain’s armband in the absence of the injured David Villa, Frank Lampard finally scored his first MLS goal to put NYCFC up 1-0 against Toronto FC.
It’s been a long road to this point for Lampard, who was first unveiled in New York back in July 2014. He immediately joined sister club Manchester City on a short-term deal for the 2014/15 Premier League campaign that was extended into the start of NYCFC’s inaugural MLS season.
He scored eight times for Man City and finally made his NYCFC debut in August. He missed a few more games due to injury and now, in his fifth appearance for the club, he’s scored a goal. Let the joyous anti-climax wash over you.
Brendan Rodgers highlights evidence that not playing well makes it harder to win
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has long been a source of unintentionally funny quotes, but as the scrutiny on his job performance grows so does the inane brilliance of his words.
Roma’s Alessandro Florenzi scores incredible goal from midfield against Barcelona
Down 1-0 to Barcelona at home in the Champions League, Roma’s Alessandro Florenzi (who you might remember from the time he celebrated a goal by hugging his grandmother) saw space between Marc-Andre ter Stegen and the goal, so he decided to let rip with a shot from a rather insane distance and angle that floated into the net to equalize in the 31st minute.