The BBC brings transfer deadline day to new levels of absurdity with “weather” report and “computer game expert”

Just when you think transfer deadline day can’t get anymore ridiculous than it already is, someone thinks of something to take it to another level of nonsense that renders all attempts to mock it useless. And this time, that has been achieved by the most unexpected of sources: The BBC.

To truly make deadline day feel like someone spiked your morning coffee with LSD, they produced a special weather report featuring handshakes rainclouds and giant manager heads spotting a map of England. It is the stuff of nightmares.

February 1, 2015

Demba Ba scores unintentional goal of the season with his backside

While Aston Villa couldn’t score a goal to save a box full of puppies, Demba Ba is putting them in even when he doesn’t realize it.

Ba seemed to have his 19th goal of the season in Besiktas’ Turkish SuperLig match against Mersin Idmanyurdu, but the goalkeeper made a fine save with his foot. The ball pinged back towards Ba though, bouncing off his rear end as he was face down on the ground, and looping into the empty net.

When Ba got back up on his knees, he wasn’t quick to celebrate as it seemed he had no idea what just happened. But even if he didn’t see it, the goal was still enough to help Besiktas to a 2-1 win.

February 1, 2015

Icardi and Guarin throw their shirts to fans after Inter loss, fans throw them back, anger ensues

Inter lost 3-1 at Sassuolo on Sunday, and the traveling the supporters were not pleased with the performance. Failing to recognize this, Fredy Guarin and Mauro Icardi, who scored Inter’s only goal, tossed their shirts into the crowd and the crowd tossed them right back.

January 31, 2015

Frank Lampard’s return to Stamford Bridge (as a title rival) in pictures

After scoring a late equalizer against his former club earlier this season, Frank Lampard returned to Stamford Bridge for the first time since leaving Chelsea for Not New York. There were emotions. And signs. And another 1-1 draw.

Here’s the photographic evidence…

January 31, 2015

“You know better football than me?”: Zlatan toys with reporter who asks about Cavani relationship

Not content with just making the referee in PSG’s 1-0 win over Rennes submit to his will, Zlatan Ibrahimovic also made a Dutch journalist dance for him after the game. The reporter asked about rumors about Zlatan and Edinson Cavani not getting along on or off the pitch and Zlatan did not appreciate this. But rather than just walk away from the question, Zlatan stayed and batted him around like a bored lion with a bloodied gazelle.

January 31, 2015

Future News: Jose Mourinho goes on hunger strike for the duration of Diego Costa’s ban

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has interrupted his self-imposed media silence to announce his plan to go on a hunger strike until the end of Diego Costa’s three-match ban for stamping on Liverpool’s Emre Can.

January 31, 2015

Harry Kane is good at kicking American footballs too

Being England’s next great hope is a sentence of certain doom, so Tottenham striker Harry Kane is getting a start on exploring other careers. And with the Super Bowl coming up (which Harry is apparently very excited about), he decided to try kicking a field goal. Without the proper goal posts.

Kane’s kick was long and straight and might get the attention of NFL scouts. But even if it doesn’t, Ted Lasso will be proud.

January 30, 2015

Zlatan Ibrahimovic makes the ref come to him

The first rule of plane of existence is that Zlatan is in charge. This is an indisputable fact. To defy this rule is to make the most dangerous of enemies. Thankfully, the referee in PSG’s Ligue 1 match against Rennes was aware of this, so when Zlatan refused to approach him when he asked him to, he relented and went to Zlatan instead.

January 30, 2015

Bayern lose first Bundesliga match this season, double their goals conceded in 73 minutes

Bayern Munich went into the Bundesliga’s winter break undefeated and with only four goals allowed in 17 matches. In their first match after the break, that changed rather drastically, though.

January 30, 2015

A collection of professional footballers wearing onesies

Ivica Olic has returned to HSV on an 18-month contract and he made sure he wouldn’t go unnoticed upon arrival by wearing a blue onesie. Though Olic might be the first footballer to turn up on his first day of work wearing the clothing equivalent of a middle finger to good taste, he is only the latest in a line of footballers who have donned the wearable sweat sack.

We look back now at a trend laced with regret and despair… Read more