Atlético Madrid hero Arda Turan turns 28 today…looks like he celebrated with a somewhat appropriate ‘boot’ cake pic.twitter.com/5MUe3JltsD
— AS English (@English_AS) January 30, 2015
During Wednesday’s action-packed Copa del Rey tie between Atletico Madrid and Barcelona, Arda Turan was so enraged by a refereeing decision that he threw one of his own boots at the referee. Amazingly, the Turkish midfielder was only given a yellow card for this heinous misappropriation of sporting apparel.
Transfer coverage has morphed into a parody of itself, right down to dildos in the ears of Sky Sports reporters, but there is still so much to make fun of. Thankfully, Anthony Richardson (Bad British Commentary and How Will They Line Up?) has put together a condensed version of what we’re in for on Deadline Day.
The next time you go shopping for computer parts, keep an eye out for Peter Crouch.
Mali and Guinea both finished Group D in the African Cup of Nations with three points from three 1-1 draws to finish joint second behind the Ivory Coast. This brought about the cruelest and most perversely anticipated tiebreaker of all: the drawing of lots.
The Bundesliga returns from its winter break this weekend and Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke is wondering why they even bother. League champions Bayern Munich currently have an 11-point cushion atop the table (while Dortmund sit in the relegation zone, 30 points back) and Watzke is convinced that clubs have stopped trying when they face Bayern.
The second leg of Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey semifinal against Barcelona had it. A skillful Fernando Torres goal within the first minute, Jordi Alba getting smacked in the head by the linesman’s flag, Torres shoving Neymar while walking off the pitch at halftime, Gabi getting a red card in the tunnel, Arda Turan throwing his own boot, and Barcelona came from behind to win 3-2 (4-2 on aggregate). It even had a player — Atletico’s Cristian Ansaldi — who was detained by police on his way into the stadium for slamming his car door on a cop’s hand!
Clearly this match had everything (a man threw his own boot!) and more. Yet many of you still requested that we ask that old chestnut of a question: What if it continued?
Colombian international Jackson Martinez has scored 83 goals in 117 appearances across all competitions for Porto in his three seasons with the club, but he’s still finding incredible new ways to put the ball in the net. During Porto’s League Cup semifinal against Academica, Martinez scored one of his two goals with a backheel volley off a corner kick that might require him to pay royalties to Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
Incredible backheels are becoming Martinez’s thing, though. Here’s another great one from a couple years ago…
If Diego Costa and Cristiano Ronaldo get charged with violent conduct for kicking people, then this linesman should get charged for smacking Jordi Alba in the head with his flag during the second leg of Barcelona and Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey tie. That’s assault with a deadly weapon. Jordi Alba needs to lead a “#DisallowLinesmanViolence” campaign. Read more
The earnest question of whether Lionel Messi could do it on a cold, wet night in Stoke has persisted as a cliched joke for a few years now. So when Barcelona surprisingly sold Bojan, a 24-year-old once hyped as the next Messi, to Stoke City, the only explanation was that Messi personally asked him to go there on an expedition to see if the conditions in this mythical place are as challenging as the fables suggest. This is Bojan’s fifth letter back to his friend.
Chelsea striker Diego Costa has proven himself to be a master of infuriating his opponents and he does that with the frequent utilization of two key methods: scoring and stomping. Though he didn’t notch a goal in the second leg of Chelsea’s successful Capital One Cup semifinal against Liverpool, the Premier League’s top scorer was arguably the most impactful player on the pitch, infuriating the Liverpool players with his other tactic: the stomp.
He raised tensions early by retaliating against Emre Can for kicking the ball away from him with a stomp and then did the same later on when Martin Skrtel flailed his legs in the air to thwart a scoring chance.
Diego Gonzalez contributed to Santos Laguna’s 4-1 win over Monterrey with a lovely seal header and then he immediately began his descent into insanity. The Argentine midfielder midfielder untied his shoe, took it off and went behind the goal. He held the boot up to his head like a telephone before sharing the imaginary call with a ball boy (or small teammate?) on the other side of the advertising board.
It’s unclear what the person/mythical beast on the other end of the boot phone said to them. Maybe it was a wrong number.