It’s time for Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Spain

Atletico Madrid beat Real Madrid 1-0, leaving Real nine points behind league-leading Barcelona (and four behind Atletico) and their fans calling for club president Florentino Perez to step down.

After the match, Cristiano Ronaldo expressed his frustrations not only with the match, but with the press and Real’s season. And in doing so, he served up a damning soundbite to anyone who wanted to make use of it. Which turns out to be just about everyone.

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Man outside FIFA congress demands end to draws

FIFA’s extraordinary congress was called to vote on a new president to carry out Sepp Blatter’s term in the wake of his suspension and put on the show with the aim of convincing U.S. and Swiss authorities to stop arresting everyone. But outside the Hallenstadion in Zurich, one man took the opportunity to voice his desire to end draws in football.

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Brendan Rodgers proposed to his girlfriend in Times Square

If you’ve been wondering what former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has been up to since Jurgen Klopp presumably wised up and stopped going ’round to his house for advice, the answer is getting engaged in the most touristy and unromantic way possible.

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Louis van Gaal: A history of making everyone uncomfortable

To the delight of assembled reporters and the embarrassment of Juan Mata, Louis van Gaal talked about how he likes to tell his players that they need to be “horny” at a press conference on Wednesday. This is, however, just the latest in a long history of uncomfortable moments involving Louis van Gaal, the only Premier League manager to be referenced in adulterous sex dwarf headlines so far this season.

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