Hull midfielder Jake Livermore has been suspended by both his club and the FA after testing positive for cocaine (aka Maradona’s Miracle Munch). This is an odd measure, since playing for a relegation threatened club in the city voted Britain’s dullest place in 2008 without being able to take any drugs is punishment enough.
Tag: Dirty Tackle
Football Shirt Friday: Milan, Southampton, Celtic, and cheetah print
It’s that time of year when kitmakers flood the marketplace with a new batch of football shirts that will go from high-priced conversation piece to bargain bin wash rag in just 12 short months. In what might become a regular feature, we’ll take a look at some shirts of interest and maybe convince ourselves to spend too much money on yet another football shirt in the process.
The craziest pictures from the Boca-River match that ended in a pepper spray attack
Matches between Boca Juniors and River Plate are normally like a tornado fighting a tsunami. But when the two rivals play each other three times over 12 days, you can be certain things will go horribly wrong. And in the second leg of their Copa Libertadores round of 16 tie, they did.
Southampton launch new kit with excellent parody video featuring a ‘color psychologist’
If you liked NBC’s Ted Lasso videos, you will love this. Just watch and appreciate that a club is handling a kit launch with a bit of creativity for once. We need to encourage things like this.
And yes, Catziano Pelle is a dear friend of Kitier Katba. Katou never liked him much, though.
Jose Mourinho texted Andre Schurrle to tell him he was a Premier League champion
Andre Schurrle’s season and a half stint with Chelsea ended in January, when he was sold to Wolfsburg, but just because he’s gone doesn’t mean he’s been forgotten. When Chelsea clinched the Premier League title earlier this month, Schurrle doubted his 14 appearances (only five of which were starts) would be enough to get him a winner’s medal. But Jose Mourinho took it upon himself to clear that up for the German winger.
DTotD: Venezuelan player kicked in the back by pitch invader during post-match interview
Carabobo FC striker Aquiles Ocanto was minding his own business and answering questions from a TV reporter during a live post-match interview when a flying psycho delivered a spine-busting kick to his back. Ocanto was down for the count and the pitch invader who put him there quickly ran off.
According to the Guardian, Carabobo later tweeted that Ocanto was fine and hadn’t suffered any injuries in the attack. He might start conducting all interviews with his back against a wall, though.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.
The Alvaro Morata Fable
The Billionaire & The Toy
Once upon a time there was a man named Florentino Perez. He was the head of a wealthy family in Spain, but still had the eyes of a child. Because of this, he loved to buy the most expensive toys from other parts of the world, even though his family made some wonderful toys of their own.
Madrid ball boy plays keep away from Patrice Evra
In the latest show of the Ball Boy Cabal’s tyrannical rule over football, a member of the Madrid faction flexed their impudence during the second leg of the Champions League semifinal between Real Madrid and Juventus.
As Patrice Evra attempted to collect the ball, a ball boy on the other side of the advertising board reached over and pulled it away from the Juve defender. This prompted a small scuffle for the ball that wasted the time of people all over the world, once again proving that Jose Mourinho was right and ball boys are the worst people on the planet.
The sooner we replace them all with ball retrieving robots, the better off football will be.
If you know anyone who is a ball boy or has ever expressed an interest in becoming one, please report them to the local authorities and, with any luck, they will be put in jail forever so they can no longer be a scourge on society.
This is Steven Gerrard sitting on a jet engine with his wife
Steven Gerrard and his wife Alex are the stars of British Airways’ Caribbean Campaign, which apparently means that they were paid enough to go along with whatever goofy ideas the photographer could think up.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s expert analysis of Bayern v Barca: leg two
You did it, Pep. You found a way to beat Barcelona and still send your club’s supporters away feeling like they just watched their dog get run over by a freight train that drove through their kitchen. I Zlink your work here is done.