Being England’s next great hope is a sentence of certain doom, so Tottenham striker Harry Kane is getting a start on exploring other careers. And with the Super Bowl coming up (which Harry is apparently very excited about), he decided to try kicking a field goal. Without the proper goal posts.
Kane’s kick was long and straight and might get the attention of NFL scouts. But even if it doesn’t, Ted Lasso will be proud.
The first rule of plane of existence is that Zlatan is in charge. This is an indisputable fact. To defy this rule is to make the most dangerous of enemies. Thankfully, the referee in PSG’s Ligue 1 match against Rennes was aware of this, so when Zlatan refused to approach him when he asked him to, he relented and went to Zlatan instead.
Bayern Munich went into the Bundesliga’s winter break undefeated and with only four goals allowed in 17 matches. In their first match after the break, that changed rather drastically, though.
Ivica Olic has returned to HSV on an 18-month contract and he made sure he wouldn’t go unnoticed upon arrival by wearing a blue onesie. Though Olic might be the first footballer to turn up on his first day of work wearing the clothing equivalent of a middle finger to good taste, he is only the latest in a line of footballers who have donned the wearable sweat sack.
We look back now at a trend laced with regret and despair… Read more
Atlético Madrid hero Arda Turan turns 28 today…looks like he celebrated with a somewhat appropriate ‘boot’ cake pic.twitter.com/5MUe3JltsD
— AS English (@English_AS) January 30, 2015
During Wednesday’s action-packed Copa del Rey tie between Atletico Madrid and Barcelona, Arda Turan was so enraged by a refereeing decision that he threw one of his own boots at the referee. Amazingly, the Turkish midfielder was only given a yellow card for this heinous misappropriation of sporting apparel.
Transfer coverage has morphed into a parody of itself, right down to dildos in the ears of Sky Sports reporters, but there is still so much to make fun of. Thankfully, Anthony Richardson (Bad British Commentary and How Will They Line Up?) has put together a condensed version of what we’re in for on Deadline Day.
The next time you go shopping for computer parts, keep an eye out for Peter Crouch.
Mali and Guinea both finished Group D in the African Cup of Nations with three points from three 1-1 draws to finish joint second behind the Ivory Coast. This brought about the cruelest and most perversely anticipated tiebreaker of all: the drawing of lots.
The Bundesliga returns from its winter break this weekend and Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke is wondering why they even bother. League champions Bayern Munich currently have an 11-point cushion atop the table (while Dortmund sit in the relegation zone, 30 points back) and Watzke is convinced that clubs have stopped trying when they face Bayern.
The second leg of Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey semifinal against Barcelona had it. A skillful Fernando Torres goal within the first minute, Jordi Alba getting smacked in the head by the linesman’s flag, Torres shoving Neymar while walking off the pitch at halftime, Gabi getting a red card in the tunnel, Arda Turan throwing his own boot, and Barcelona came from behind to win 3-2 (4-2 on aggregate). It even had a player — Atletico’s Cristian Ansaldi — who was detained by police on his way into the stadium for slamming his car door on a cop’s hand!
Clearly this match had everything (a man threw his own boot!) and more. Yet many of you still requested that we ask that old chestnut of a question: What if it continued?
Colombian international Jackson Martinez has scored 83 goals in 117 appearances across all competitions for Porto in his three seasons with the club, but he’s still finding incredible new ways to put the ball in the net. During Porto’s League Cup semifinal against Academica, Martinez scored one of his two goals with a backheel volley off a corner kick that might require him to pay royalties to Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
Incredible backheels are becoming Martinez’s thing, though. Here’s another great one from a couple years ago…