Q: is the aim to win four trophies?
A: WTF pic.twitter.com/CbF3ifT4rt— Sam Lee (@Sammy_Goal) September 18, 2016
Pep Guardiola is already running the table in his first season with Man City, but if you’re a journalist who asks him if he’s gunning for a quadruple, he’s going to demonstrate his mastery of exasperated swearing in the English language for you.
Man City’s Champions League curtain raiser against Borussia Monchengladbach was flooded/lightning’d into postponement (until Wednesday). This time-lapse video shows the impact the weather had on the pitch and why this decision had to be made:
In a match that was treated like a cross between a Champions League final and a UFC event, but was actually just the first scoop of what will inevitably be too much ice cream, Pep Guardiola’s Man City beat Jose Mourinho’s Man United 2-1 in their first Manchester derby against one another at Old Trafford. Though Man United threatened to equalize after falling behind by two goals in the first half, City held on to leave Mourinho with just one win in his last 10 matches against Guardiola. This is only the beginning, but still we must ask, “What if it continued?”
I don’t know if these are real tourists that this Man City fan channel snarkily guided around the outside of Old Trafford, but it was a clever idea for a video, so I don’t really care. Here’s to hoping rival fan stadium tours become an ongoing thing.
With Pep Guardiola’s move to Manchester City to resume his eternal battle with Jose Mourinho, Catalan football satire show Crackovia is producing a series about the two rivals as they now share a city. The first episode spoofs the popular Man City YouTube video that had Guardiola sharing a cab with a young ginger fan and features a depiction of Zlatan Ibrahimovic as a Frankenstein’s Monster type character who can only say “Zlatan.”
Pretty good, Crackovia. Pretty, pretty good.
Premier League tickets aren’t cheap, so when you want to witness Pep Guardiola’s first visit to Stoke, sometimes the best option is to climb a tree. That’s what one man did outside the Bet365 Stadium and his effort was rewarded by two early goals from Kun Aguero to give Man City a 2-0 first-half lead.
Joe Hart is reportedly being forced out of Manchester City by new manager Pep Guardiola after 10 years with the club, but before he goes, the goalkeeper has a final wish he would like to have fulfilled.
“Most players would like to have a testimonial in their honor when they leave a club after this many years,” an emotional Hart told reporters. “But all I would want is to gather my teammates in the tunnel at the Etihad and shout inspirational sentence fragments at them.”
Hart has been a vocal leader for Man City, helping them to two Premier League titles, an FA Cup, and three League Cups while also winning the Premier League golden glove in four of the last six seasons.
“The thought of never again screaming the words ‘ALRIGHT BOYS — AGGRESSIVE!’ or ‘COME ON MANGA AND AGAIN MANGA AND AGAIN!’ in that tunnel even though my teammates are standing close enough to not require speaking that loudly, I…I just…I’m sorry,” Hart said before noisily weeping.
It remains unclear where Hart might end up, but any potential transfer could be complicated by interested clubs needing time to soundproof their home dressing room before his arrival.
“ORGANIZE THESE TEARS, JOE! ORGANIZE THESE TEARS!” he said to himself as journalists moved away from him.
Hart’s wailing set off the fire alarms at Man City’s training complex, but the Greater Manchester Fire Service was quick to respond.
As if losing 5-0 to Man City in a Champions League qualifying match where Kun Aguero missed two penalties and still had a hat trick wasn’t bad enough, Steaua Bucharest also suffered a prank from local rivals Dinamo Bucharest.
If there’s one thing the Premier League taught us last season it’s that pizza can perform miracles. Claudio Ranieri used it to fuel and inspire Leicester City to a still unbelievable Premier League title. But as Pep Guardiola prepares for his first season in the league with Manchester City, he has already committed a fatal error by banning his players from consuming the magical combination of dough, sauce, and cheese.
This is spectacular. Pep Guardiola surprised Man City fan Braydon (and I mean absolutely blew the kid’s mind) by going on a taxi ride with him and the result is YouTube gold.
Braydon informed Guardiola of the dreary Manchester weather he would have to get used to, complemented the new manager’s summer signings, and suggested Pep call Leo Messi to see if he’d want to make a move.
Finally, Braydon told Guardiola, “Since you don’t have many friends in Manchester, whenever you need a friend, come to my house for tea.” And that’s when you will melt into a puddle of warm goo. Enjoy.
