Jose Mourinho changes his tune on Arsene Wenger for maximum condescension

Mou knows how to make the most of a loss

Arsenal’s 2–0 win over Man United on Sunday not only ended the Red Devils’ 25-match unbeaten streak that could best be described as “an orgy of draws,” it also marked Arsene Wenger’s first win against Jose Mourinho in 13 attempts over his career.

As their personal rivalry has grown, Mourinho has reveled in his record against a man he once called a “specialist in failure.” But after Sunday’s match, Mourinho had very different things to say about Arsenal and Wenger. Things that might have sounded complimentary on the surface, but served a very specific purpose.

Mourinho said:

“The Arsenal fans, they are happy and I am happy for them.”

That’s so nice! Maybe this loss has finally humbled Jose Mourinho and convinced him that it’s time to make peace with his enemies. But wait, there’s more..

“It’s the first time I leave Highbury or the Emirates and they are happy. I left Highbury, they were crying. I left Emirates, they were crying. They were walking the streets with their heads low, so finally, today, they sing, the scarves, you know, it’s nice for them. It’s nice for them. Honestly. It’s nice for them.”

OK, now he’s starting to sound like a guy who just lost a Mario Kart race to a toddler who doesn’t know what any of the buttons do and can’t handle it.

“It’s a big club. It’s a big club. You think I enjoy the fact that a big club like Arsenal is not winning big trophies?”

Yes.

“I’m not enjoying that. Honestly.”

No one believes that, Jose. No one.

“Arsene Wenger is not a…a…small manager.”

The fact that he had to pause and build up the will to say that is telling.

“He’s a big manager.”

I’m 99% certain he’s referring to Wenger’s height here.

“So to have that record of winning so many matches, it’s something that is not normal. That’s not normal. Normal is win, lose, draw. It’s not normal.”

Translation: “One match doesn’t change the fact that I’ve beaten Wenger an abnormal amount of times.”

“And I really don’t care about it. I really don’t care about it.”

“I’m fine,” say the man with blood pouring from his nose.

“And today, there were no problems. We shook hands before the game, we shook hands after the game, and during the game I didn’t like what I never like: he puts too much pressure on the fourth official all the time. [Man United press officer ends press conference]”

And there it is. All that to work up to a parting shot about Wenger harassing the fourth official. He’s too afraid to go for a win against a top opponent away from home, but he still tries to take the high ground after losing. Truly a master at work.