Author: Brooks Peck

Marco Reus autographs a Real Madrid shirt, which basically means they own his soul forever

Following reports that Borussia Dortmund midfielder Marco Reus has agreed to personal terms with Real Madrid ahead of a potential transfer, the player’s agent said all of it was “blatant nonsense.” But now Reus has autographed a Real Madrid shirt after playing a friendly against Steaua Bucharest in Alicante, Spain, and as the ink seeped into the cloth, so did the club into the very essence of his being.

He might continue to play for Dortmund, but now he belongs to Madrid in the two most important places: the gossip columns and that random dude’s shirt.

Thomas Muller says it’s harder to win in Bayern training sessions than in Bundesliga matches

Since teammate Dante couldn’t take his brand of gentle ribbing about the most painful moment of his life, Thomas Muller has now turned his banter gun to everyone else in the Bundesliga with a statement that isn’t all that surprising, but still hits where it hurts. By saying that Bayern Munich’s training sessions are more difficult than their matches against Bundesliga opposition.

From Sportal:

“We have a very high level in training,” the Germany international told the DPA news agency.

“The defending team are part of Bayern and it is often more difficult to win against our training team than perhaps against a team in the Bundesliga.

“[This is] precisely because the tactical level is identical because, of course, everyone has the same understanding.”

At the top of the table with an 11-point cushion during the winter break, Bayern are once again making easy work of the Bundesliga. If this continues much longer, the German football association might have to create a new top tier where Bayern just play against themselves every week in order to keep things interesting.

DT Exclusive: Sunderland give Not Jozy Altidore whatever he wants

Sunderland have reportedly agreed to make Jermain Defoe their highest paid player on about £70,000 a week for the next three and a half years in a swap deal that sends underperforming Jozy Altidore to Toronto FC. This a long time and a lot of money for an injury-prone 32-year-old. The following is a transcript of how that decision was made.

Read more

Brazilian Ronaldo says he’ll try to make comeback as a player for his NASL club

(@ENH_Fotografia)
(@ENH_Fotografia)

Ronaldo — the Brazilian one who won the Ballon d’Or in 1997 and 2002 and not the Portuguese one who won it in 2008, 2013 and 2014 — was unveiled as a minority owner of the NASL’s Fort Lauderdale Strikers at a press conference on Wednesday. And to ensure his new investment in the U.S. second division gets that added bit of publicity, he said that he’s going to try and play for the club at some point.

Read more

New MLS club posts embarrassing job ad for FIFA-playing millennial who can “walk the walk”

Los Angeles FC, a new MLS club set to join the league in 2017 and owned by a bizarre group that includes NBA legend Magic Johnson, Cardiff City owner Vincent Tan, U.S women’s team legend Mia Hamm, motivational speaker Tony Robbins and seemingly thousands of others, are ramping up their operations with terrible job listings on the official MLS website. One of which is for a FIFA-playing millennial and supporters group puppet master.

Read more

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scores French Cup goal with his chest/heart

Zlatan has proven time and time again that he can score with any part of his body he chooses and his goal in PSG’s French Cup match against St. Etienne shows this includes his Kevlar-like chest.

With a powerful beat of his heart, Zlatan propelled the ball passed the goal line in the 72nd minute for the match’s only score. Have a look…

Read more

Cristiano Ronaldo to wear diamond encrusted gold boots to celebrate third Ballon d’Or

Nike has created their first ever micro-diamond encrusted football boots to mark Cristiano Ronaldo’s Ballon d’Or hat trick. And, like Cristiano himself, they’re not just for show — he will wear them for the second leg of Real Madrid’s Copa del Rey tie against Atletico Madrid on Thursday.

Read more