Author: Brooks Peck

David Moyes politely sticks it to everyone after beating Barcelona

David Moyes, a once widely respected football manager who unwittingly signed up to become a clown pinata when he took charge of Manchester United, claimed a sliver of redemption with relegation threatened Spanish side Real Sociedad by beating Barcelona 1-0. He even managed to get Barca to score the match’s only goal against themselves (Jordi Alba in the second minute).

As the world sang his praises for the first time in a long while, Moyes was rightly feeling pretty wonderful after the match. But being the good sport that he is, he still took the time to shake hands with several key Barcelona players. Here’s what he said as he did so…

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This behind the scenes video of Fernando Torres’ Atletico unveiling is adorable

Following a great reception at the airport earlier in the week, more than 40,000 people turned up at the Vicente Calderon on Sunday to officially welcome Fernando Torres back to the club where his career began. The video above shows some of the emotions of the day. The hugs, the joy, the familial warmth, and the importance of not putting your hands in your mouth.

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FA Cup darlings Blyth Spartans have a wonderful fine list

Seventh tier Blyth Sparans embodied the much talked about Magic of the FA Cup by reaching the third round of the FA Cup to face second tier Birmingham and taking a 2-0 lead into halftime. Though that all unraveled when Birmingham scored three goals in six minutes to win 3-2, Blyth have still won over the world (they count Barack Obama and Luis Figo amongst their 11,000 Twitter followers) with their day jobs and quaint fines.

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Arda Turan sings (terribly) on The Voice in Turkey

The winter break affords footballers the opportunity to do things away from the game for once. So Atletico Madrid’s Arda Turan went home to Turkey to try and make it as a singer (kind of) on The Voice.

For those unfamiliar with the show, the judges all start with their chairs turned away from the stage, then the contestant walks out and sings. If the judges like what they hear, they turn their chairs around to see the person singing and fill them with false hope that makes their inevitable failure to become the next Right Said Fred.

So when Turan came out, he was given a rousing ovation that piqued that judges interest. And even though his singing sounded like a labrador trying to cough up a cigarette factory, the judges still turned their chairs around just to see who the presumably special guest was.

From there, everyone had a bit of fun, but the lesson of the day is that Arda Turan probably isn’t going to leave Atletico to become the next Dion Dublin anytime soon.

If it continued… (Spurs v Chelsea)

Spurs gave Chelsea a surprise by coming back from 1-0 down to win 5-3 at White Hart Lane on the first day of the new year. A brace from 21-year-old Harry Kane made him the star as Jose Mourinho stewed in his own conspiracy theories and Chelsea’s defending failed them miserably. This made for a rowdy match and demands that we ask the all-important question: “What if it continued?”

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10-year-old competition winner takes the FA Cup home for a night

Eating a sandwich in your kitchen beside one of the game’s most iconic trophies is something many children (and adults) fantasize about and one 10-year-old Derby County fan actually got to live that dream. Ryan O’Donnell won a competition put on by the FA and his prize was a tour of the Rams’ iPRO Stadium and a night with the FA Cup at his house.

So how did he spend his time with the cup? He ate next to it (of course), he watched TV with it, he played a board game against it, and he slept with it at his bedside (or he at least got in bed and stared at it with the lights on while a camera person filmed him).

Thankfully, Arsenal finally ended their trophy drought by winning the FA Cup last season so Arsene Wenger didn’t have to go through the indignity of entering this competition himself under a variety of pseudonyms and never giving it back if he won.

Here’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic dressed as a snow ninja

Zlatan Ibrahimovic took time out of his conquering of the Swedish mountain tops to wish his fans a happy new year with a photo of himself dressed as a snow ninja posted to his Instagram account.

“I wish you all a happy new year! Greetings from the Swedish mountains at it’s most beautiful. And at it’s coldest. #2015#happynewyear,” says Zlatan as he casually leans against a snow covered rock, presumably after kicking the mountain to demonstrate his dominance of it.

So, just know that Zlatan is out there, dressed in an all black snowsuit and showing the world’s mountains who’s boss (hint: It’s Zlatan).

This Premier League launch ad is an overdose of 1992

On the first day of 2015, the Sky Sports YouTube account took a throwback Thursday trip to 1992 by posting one of their Premier League launch ads from that year. Not only does it capture the moment top-flight football in England became an untamable beast with an unquenchable thirst for money, but it also depicts the false sense of innocence of a time gone by. And Gordon Strachan’s mullet.

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Conspiracy Theory: Opposing teams actively trying to beat Chelsea

Thanks to Jose Mourinho’s bold commitment to exposing the truth, we have already established that ball boys are conspiring against Chelsea. And after last weekend’s controversy in which Cesc Fabregas was booked for diving when he should have been awarded a decisive penalty in Chelsea’s 1-1 draw at Southampton, he has now revealed that the club’s list of enemies extends far beyond a few snot-nosed kids with complete, unchecked control of the flow of balls onto the pitch.

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