Jamie Vardy immortalized on package of salted potato snack

He did it. Jamie Vardy achieved the improbable by going from non-league footballer to Premier League record holder in a span of three years and now he’s received the ultimate honor: his own limited edition Walkers Crisps.

Dreams do come true. Dreams. Do. Come. True.

Disgruntled Lazio fans bring 10 bags of manure to training ground

Upset that Lazio haven’t won a league match since October, fans dropped off 10 bags of manure at the club’s training ground. Are they convinced that helping the players train on a better fertilized pitch will help them win? No, they had a different use in mind for all that manure.

From Football Italia:

Ten bags of manure were dumped outside the training ground, accompanied by a banner reading: “You want to make us drown in [expletive]. But first we want to make you eat it.”

A second banner insulted Lotito, with the fans also signing songs decrying the Aquile President.

This protest follows Roma fans’ training ground delivery of carrots last week (because their team played like scared rabbits, you see). Who knew the people of Rome turn so agricultural when they get angry?

Teo Gutierrez celebrates goal by stealing referee’s vanishing spray

It was only a matter of time before a footballer decided that the vanishing spray was entirely too much fun to let referees keep to themselves and Sporting Lisbon’s Teo Gutierrez is that footballer. After completing his side’s comeback against Besiktas in the Europa League with their third goal in a span of 10 minutes, he swiped the referee’s bottle of vanishing spray and tried to write a message on the pitch.

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CSKA Sofia fans do timely Darth Vader/Storm Troopers “Ultra Wars” tifo display

With the release of the new Star Wars film days away, CSKA Sofia fans put together a topical tifo display for their Bulgarian Cup quarterfinal against Sozopol. But instead of depicting themselves as the good guys, they opted to pull out Storm Trooper masks and a giant Darth Vader banner. Read more

Jose Mourinho can’t stop ruining Iker Casillas’ life

Iker Casillas and Porto entered the final day of Champions League group stage play at the top of Group G, thanks in part to a win over Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea back in September. This was a meaningful victory for Casillas, not only because it provided valuable points, but because it gave him a taste of revenge against the man who callously destroyed his idyllic existence at Real Madrid. This moment of satisfaction would prove fleeting, however, as Mourinho ended up losing the battle but winning his endless war on Iker’s happiness.

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“I don’t seek out records, records seek out me,” says Cristiano Ronaldo after battering poor Malmo

Cristiano Ronaldo scored four times in span of 20 minutes during Real Madrid’s 8-0 win over Malmo. In doing so, he broke his own Champions League group-stage scoring record and become the first player to record 10 or more goals over the six matches, ending up with 11. This gave him more goals than 27 of the 32 TEAMS in the group stage.

Once he was finished beating up on a clearly inferior club, he made a statement that was so impressively egotistical that it sounded like a quote from a parody of Cristiano Ronaldo. From ESPN FC:

“On a personal level, I am happy for another record. I don’t seek out records, records seek me out.”

He doesn’t seek out records. Records seek him out. That’s something a WWE villain would say! It’s brilliant.

Love or hate Ronaldo, you can’t deny that the game is more entertaining with him and his colossal ego.

Man City players read mean tweets, make you feel kind of bad for them

In the latest installment of their video advent calendar, Man City had the questionable idea to make several of their own players read mean tweets about themselves in front of a camera. Eliaquim Mangala, Bacary Sagna, Fabian Delph, Vincent Kompany, and Yaya Toure were all subjected to what can only be a punishment for pissing off their superiors and their responses to the hate were so reasonable and nice that it makes the whole exercise far more awkward than funny.

No matter what you think of him as a player, by the end of this video you will want to give Mangala a hug and remove all the sharp things from his house.

To top it off, there’s a post-script to the video where Kompany talks about how much they love the haters, then pivots and says: “But there are some people who can’t deal with it and if you are one of those people, and you are a victim of cyber bullying, then let’s take this issue seriously…” Which sounds more like he’s putting down the people who “can’t deal with it” than offering them help. And no part of the video treated the issue seriously.

Anyway, happy holidays from Manchester City!