On the final day of the Brazilian Serie A season, Avai were in serious danger of relegation and facing Corinthians, who had already sealed the title. With a one point advantage on Figueirense, Avai had a vested interest in their match against Fluminense, so Avai striker Andre Lima smuggled a phone onto the bench in order to watch the Figueirense game.
To make sure no one caught on, he put the phone in a pair of shin pads. You know, so everyone would think he’s just a crazy person staring at his shin pads.
Director: OK, Cristiano, we have to do a holiday advertisement for these terrible headphones so I thought we’d do a unique take on “Jingle Bells” where you perform the song at home while doing everyday things.
Cristiano: Oh, so you want me to sing “Jingle Bells” with my shirt off? OK. We can do that. No problem.
Director: No, actually, we would just have you do things like brush your teeth and make toast and we’d edit it to sound like the song. No singing necessary.
Cristiano: But I would still be shirtless.
Director: Well, not necessarily. It would be you wearing the headphones and banging on the wall or going up and down the stairs.
Cristiano: And I whistle the song while I walk? OK, let’s do it.
Director: No, there’s no whistling either. Just the sounds of these various actions cut together to make the song.
Cristiano: Walking up the stairs doesn’t sound like “Jingle Bells.” Would you put bells inside the stairs or on my feet?
Director: No no no, there would be no actual bells. Just the normal sounds those actions make. Then we’ll edit it to sound like the song “Jingle Bells” later.
Cristiano: Oh, so I’d sing the song in the studio after we film everything. I can sing a Rihanna song instead.
Director: No. There is no singing at any point. It’s just the sounds.
Cristiano: So you’d put bells on my tooth brush?
Director: NO! There will be no bells and no singing and no whistling. Just do what I tell you and it will work out fine. I promise. OK? Can we do this please?
Cristiano: Fine. But in January, I’m going to demand a transfer to another production company.
Director: Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.
Cristiano: Yes. Give me the lyrics and we can start.
When 22-year-old Fortuna Düsseldorf midfielder Kerem Demirbay was sent off by referee Bibiana Steinhaus in a 2. Bundesliga match, he told her “women have no place in men’s football.” His club wouldn’t stand for his sexism though, and came up with a clever “punishment” by having him referee a girls match on Saturday.
Nicklas Bendtner thinks it’s high time everyone starts taking Nicklas Bendtner seriously. The Wolfsburg striker ironically dubbed “Lord” Bendtner told 11Freunde (via the Guardian):
“I don’t say yes to every interview request. I am tired of being portrayed as an idiot. And even journalists who I trust are not capable of describing in words what I am feeling when I am not playing.”
But that didn’t stop him from saying more dumb things in the very same interview.
“I have always had a huge desire but perhaps not always the right perspective. I used to think that a forward’s responsibility was to score goals. Now I know that you have to run as well.”
That’s not a 16-year-old academy kid saying that. That’s a 27-year-old professional footballer saying he only just realized the importance of running to his job. And there’s more.
The Dane also expanded on why the tiger is his favourite animal, having described himself as the “tiger who never gives up” towards the end of last season.
“The tiger stands at the end of the food chain. He eats to survive, without any compassion, he doesn’t even feel it. He is the predator par excellence, an animal of dangerous beauty.”
Oh, Nicklas Bendtner. You are truly the tiger of ridiculousness.
To help out in this stressful holiday shopping period, DT has once again teamed up with Art of Football to bring you the chance to win some spectacular free stuff. We’re giving away two £25 gift vouchers that you can put towards any purchase on the Art of Football’s site. And if you haven’t checked it out already, you really should. They have a huge selection of everything from T-shirts and hoodies to prints that will class up your walls, all featuring their gorgeous and unique designs.
The Portland Timbers will face the Columbus Crew in the MLS Cup final and since Columbus will host the match, they’ve made some pointed additions to the prohibited items list for Mapfre Stadium.
It’s taken less than 24 hours for Real Madrid to become the laughingstock of the Spanish third division. Since they started an ineligible Denis Cheryshev against Cadiz in the Copa del Rey, prompting an investigation that could have them expelled from the tournament despite winning the match 3-1, everyone from Gerard Pique to, well, us has had a laugh at their expense. And now Merida AD have produced a video to mock them, as well.
Everything was going so well in Real Madrid’s Copa del Rey round of 32 first-leg match against third division Cadiz. Denis Cheryshev scored in just the third minute to give them a fast lead and Rafa Benitez had to feel he was on his way to proving his doubters wrong and holding onto his job at least until the end of the calendar year.
But then word started to filter through social media that Cheryshev shouldn’t have been eligible to play due to yellow card accumulation in the tournament last season with Villarreal.
Sky Sports pundit and assistant manager of the England national team Gary Neville has accepted the position of Valencia manager, an unexpected move that suddenly puts him in an official position of power over younger brother Phil, who joined the Spanish club as an assistant last summer. It is immediately clear that Gary’s primary reason for taking this job is so he can tell Phil what to do.
