Upon learning that a local butcher had created a specialty sausage named in his honor, Claudio Ranieri told a reporter to bring it to him. So during Ranieri’s press conference on Friday, that reporter delivered.
Louis van Gaal attempts to declare his entire Man United reign an April Fools’ prank
Louis van Gaal used his April 1 press conference to attempt to claim that everything he’s done in his nearly two full seasons as manager of Manchester United has been part of an elaborate April Fools’ Day prank.
Van Gaal walked into the press room at the club’s training complex and immediately shouted the words “April Fools’!” When asked what he was referring to, the Dutchman said “Everything!” When he saw that no one in the room believed him, he muttered “Damn, I thought that might work.” He then added, “It was worth a try.”
After an awkward, prolonged silence, the gathered journalists moved forward with their questioning of Van Gaal as if his strange outburst never happened. Not taking the hint, Van Gaal answered each of their questions simply by saying “April Fools’!”
The journalists quickly tired of his routine and stopped asking him questions all together. Van Gaal then slammed his fists on the table, shouted “Fine!” and marched towards the door.
Finally, he turned around pointed at everyone in the room and said, “You’re all the April Fools! And May Fools and June Fools!” Then he left.
Those present all agreed that it was Van Gaal’s least embarrassing interaction with the press since arriving in Manchester.
Disgruntled fans of Brazilian club crash training session, challenge team to a friendly
Fans of Brazilian club Portuguesa have come up with a novel way of expressing their dissatisfaction with the season’s results and the team’s underperforming players. About 15 supporters turned up to a training session in red clown noses and full kits of their own and challenged the team to a friendly, confident that they could beat the struggling professionals.
Phil Neville: Assistant to disaster
Gary Neville has been sacked by Valencia after just 120 days on the job. Naturally, he has received criticism for his embarrassingly brief reign — both from Valencia fans and his former colleagues in the media — but one man has largely flown under the radar in all this. And that man is Gary’s brother and assistant at Valencia, Phil Neville. The black widow of football management.
Pele sues Samsung for using “lookalike,” claims he perfected the scissor kick
Pele believes that the bearded man in the Samsung advertisement above looks like him. And that scissor kick on the television? That’s his too. So he’s decided to sue Samsung for $30 million.
Jurgen Klinsmann gives the U.S. everything they don’t know they want
Imagine a world in which the U.S. men’s national team win every match they’re supposed to win. They’d roll past all the CONCACAF minnows and only ever really do battle with Mexico and in friendlies against South American or European competition. World Cup qualification would be a given — a joke even.
“Will the U.S. beat Guatemala?” one fan would ask. “Oh, I don’t know!” another fan would reply, sarcastically, and then they’d laugh and laugh and laugh as they check their email inboxes for World Cup hotel room confirmations three years before the event while in attendance at an NBA game instead of watching the U.S. because, come on, of course they’re going to win.
In this world, most supporters — and not just the casual ones — only give the team their full attention every four years when they inevitably appear in the World Cup and play matches that are actually interesting. In this world, being a fan of the U.S. men’s national team is boring.
Enter Jurgen Klinsmann — a manager who delivers the varied and unique entertainment U.S. fans and press alike will never admit to craving at this point in the country’s development of the sport. He fosters debates that Americans simply cannot resist and never get sick of, to the benefit of journalists and social media platforms alike.
Brendan Rodgers: Fashion icon
Brendan Rodgers is feeling good about life again after proposing to his girlfriend in Times Square and his wardrobe is reflecting that. Well, that or a devastating midlife crisis. Either way, he has developed into a budding fashion icon over the course of his unemployment and it’s time we all take notice.
Unintentional burns with Lionel Messi
When asked about his relationship with Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi revealed that the two haven’t spoken since professional circumstances last required them to. But he said this in an interesting way.
From ESPNFC:
“We haven’t spoken in a long time, since the World Cup [2010] we may have crossed paths once or twice,” Messi said in Spanish on Egyptian TV. “He has his life, his things and I have mine. We haven’t spoken at all. Considering that we don’t speak to each other, I have a great relationship with him.”
Though almost certainly unintentional, that last sentence is a pretty wicked burn and amusing coming from someone like Messi, who is almost superhumanly inoffensive. It also got me thinking about some other unintentional burns Messi might say. Here are a few…
Woman films the exact moment Cristiano Ronaldo gave her a black eye with a terrible penalty
Sarah Arcand was in attendance at Real Madrid’s 4-0 win over Sevilla and happened to be sitting right behind the goal Cristiano Ronaldo was aiming for as he lined up a penalty. Naturally, she took out her phone to film her great perspective of this moment, but what she didn’t know was that she would end up being the star of her own film as Cristiano missed the goal and hit her eye instead.
Antiques Roadshow appraises FA Cup at over £1 million, insults its design
There have been five FA Cup trophies over the years, but none have been lifted by more jubilant footballers than the one that served from 1911 to 1992. And it was this trophy that was brought to the Antiques Roadshow crew for appraisal because why the hell not?