Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a hat trick in PSG’s 3-1 win against Lorient last Friday and after the match, he asked the referee for the ball, as is customary. The ref bravely refused to hand it over, though, forcing Zlatan to ask him for it again in the tunnel.
Tag: Dirty Tackle
Michael Owen is the most interesting boring man in the world
Michael Owen is both intensely boring and uniquely odd.
The only Englishman to win the Ballon d’Or in the last 35 years retired to a life of horse racing, lifeless product endorsement and banal punditry in 2013, making him a veritable renaissance man of blandness.
Pep Guardiola is using Zidane to sabotage Real Madrid (probably)
Pep Guardiola has agreed to host a group of French coaches, including Real Madrid Castilla Zinedine Zidane, at Bayern Munich’s training complex this week. According to ESPN FC and AS, the French delegation (which also includes Claude Makelele and Willy Sagnol) are observing Guardoila’s training sessions this week in an effort to soak up the expert knowledge on offer as they work towards their UEFA Pro Level Three Licenses.
Given Guardiola’s lasting allegiance to Barcelona, it seems highly unlikely that he would actively try and help the man tipped to be Real Madrid’s next manager. So it stands to reason that this is all an elaborate ruse to feed Zidane (and fellow ex-Real Madrid player Makelele?) false information.
Some top tips that Guardiola is probably sharing with Zidane:
Soccer AM quiz new Colorado Rapids signing Kevin Doyle on American words
Ireland international Kevin Doyle signed for the Colorado Rapids last week and to prepare him for his big move, Sky Sports’ Soccer AM quizzed him on the American equivalent for several words and phrases.
Now, an Englishman teaching an Irishman the terminology of America would seem destined to fail, but Doyle does pretty well. He won’t be eating any cotton candy or zucchini while in the States, though. Or wearing a fanny pack.
Conspiracy Theory: Steven Gerrard set Mario Balotelli’s bathroom on fire in 2011
Steven Gerrard and Mario Balotelli are men with two very different reputations, but recent events prove that this is the result of Gerrard’s concerted efforts to distract from his own misdeeds.
Real Madrid ban supporter for assaulting players’ cars after Clasico loss
Following Real Madrid’s 2-1 loss at Barcelona, a pair of the club’s more unrepentantly turdish supporters decided to wait for the players to retrieve their cars upon returning to Madrid and then abuse said cars as they departed. Clearly, these guys have very full and rewarding lives.
Brazilian club’s mascot gets sent off for antagonizing other team’s fans
Sao Bernardo lost 1-0 to Palmeiras in the Campeonato Paulista, almost certainly because they suffered the devastating blow of having their mascot sent off. The match altering decision came before the start of the second half, when the tiger mascot antagonized visiting Palmeiras supporters by “imitating a pig” in front of them. The referee did not appreciate his brand of humor and sent him off.
Teammates get into shoving match over who takes penalty, winner’s shot gets saved
When Guizhou Renhe player Hyure was tripped in the box during a Chinese Super League game against Shanghai Shenxin, an argument ensued over who would take the resulting penalty. It did not involve Hyure.
Guizhou Renhe captain Krzysztof Maczynski and Ricardo Santos did some pushing and shoving as they had a childish argument over who would take the penalty, before Maczynski finally won out. Of course, fighting with your own teammate isn’t the best way to mentally prepare for a spot kick, so his shot was saved.
Maczynski and Santos did make amends later, though — as the Polish captain set up the Brazilian for a winner in the 80th minute.
MANUEL NEUER MAKES A MISTAKE, BAYERN MUNICH’S SEASON IN RUINS
Bayern Munich goalkeeper Manuel Neuer made a rare error to allow the first goal in his side’s Bundesliga match against Borussia Monchengladbach and now EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART AROUND THEM.
Leo Messi is the designated driver for the Clasico afterparty
Barcelona beat Real Madrid 2-1 at the Camp Nou and judging by Neymar’s post-match Instagram photo, the Barca players celebrated the result by putting on their most ridiculous clubbing attire and piling into Uncle Leo Messi’s minivan for a night on the town.
Dani Alves wore his gold shoes, Neymar a red leather jacket, Adriano had on a denim one with gaudy cuff flair, Rafinha decided to be a hitman, and Douglas was a cross between Carlton Banks and a nightclub owner. Then there was Messi, who looked like he was dressed by his mother — perhaps fitting since he has a tattoo of her face on his shoulder.
Anyway, it’s good to see that the boys had a designated driver for the evening. And that Uncle Leo isn’t just sitting home with his Lego collection.