Author: Brooks Peck

DTotD: Real Salt Lake player goes up for a header, forgets about existence of the post right in front of him

Real Salt Lake’s Luke Mulholland was so focused on the ball while going up for a header while basically standing inside the goal that he forgot that everything else existed and jumped directly into the goal post.

The only way he could have played this off well is if he got up and demanded that the ref show the post a yellow card.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. 

Jordan Henderson, Thibaut Courtois star in half-hearted campaign videos for FIFA 16 cover

EA Sports is letting fans vote for the footballer who will join Lionel Messi on the UK cover of FIFA 16, because that’s exactly what fans need: one more thing to fight about on the internet. Read more

Norway players in brilliant documentary mocking stereotypes of women’s football

Norway will face England in the Women’s World Cup round of 16 and in the lead-up to the big match, NRK (Norway’s version of the BBC) produced a mockumentary that sees the players having some fun with sexist stereotypes of the women’s game.

Presented as the players “admitting the truth” to reporter Nicolay Ramm, every asinine opinion of women’s football from physical shortcomings to mental lapses and problematic lesbianism is addressed, highlighting the absurdity of the claims. It’s very well done and definitely worth a watch.

Meanwhile, one Norwegian newspaper is getting serious about the next match…

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The creepiest “new signing undergoing a medical” photo you’ll ever see

This is 21-year-old Mitchell Weiser undergoing his medical as he moves from Bayern Munich to Hertha Berlin. Photographs of players in the middle of medical exams before joining a new club are always weird, but this is a whole new level.

The doctor looks like he’s sizing Weiser up for some kind of experimental surgery where he replaces his extremities with live eels and Weiser looks like he has resigned himself to this fate and mentally dissociated from his soon to be dissected body.

Nothing about this is good. Official medical exam pictures need to stop.

Neymar, Carlos Bacca shown red cards after Colombia beat Brazil

Colombia beat Brazil for the first time since 1991, avenging last summer’s World Cup quarterfinal loss with a 36th minute goal from Jeison Murillo in Copa America Group C. But once the final whistle blew, the real fun began.

It started with Neymar kicking the ball at a celebrating Pablo Armero, then lightly headbutting goal scorer Murillo, prompting Colombia striker Carlos Bacca to come charging in and shove him from behind.

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Arturo Vidal tearfully apologizes to “all of Chile” after arrest for drunkenly crashing his Ferrari

Chile midfielder Arturo Vidal, who scored twice in Monday’s 3-3 draw with Mexico, spent his Copa America night off in a hospital with minor injuries after crashing his red Ferrari and getting arrested on drunk driving charges. This was a tremendous disappointment to the tournament’s host nation, especially since Vidal OWNS A LIMOUSINE SERVICE.

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