Author: Brooks Peck

Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice against Schalke, was still miserable at full time

Cristiano Ronaldo scored not one, but two equalizing goals in the second leg of Real Madrid’s Champions League tie against Schalke, making him the first Real Madrid player to score more than 40 goals across all competitions five seasons in a row. But even with all that, and Real Madrid advancing to the next round, Ronaldo still looked like he just watched Lionel Messi’s son draw a picture of The Rock kissing Irina Shayk on the side of the Cristiano Ronaldo museum at full time.

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Borussia Dortmund start “No beer for racists” campaign

(BVB)
(BVB)

Borussia Dortmund have distributed one million “No beer for racists” coasters to local pubs and restaurants as part of campaign to fight the city’s sizable neo-Nazi scene. According to the club, the idea behind the campaign is to reach the places were “football is experienced most intensely outside the stadium” to spread the word that “Borussia, beer — and Nazis? That does not fit!”

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Lionel Messi’s monopolization of football’s records must be stopped

Records are an important part of sports. They provide a context that links the past and present, giving younger generations a means to appreciate what came before their time. They allow the names of legends to live on beyond the confines of their brief careers. And by monopolizing football’s records, Lionel Messi is destroying everything.

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Paderborn goalkeeper gets obliterated by shot to the face

Down 1-0 to Bayer Leverkusen in the 79th minute, Paderborn goalkeeper Lukas Kruse wasn’t having a great day, but it got a whole lot worse when he was laid out by a Stefan Kiessling shot to the face. The close-range shot appeared to take a deflection off a defender’s boot, leaving Kruse unable to adjust in time and turning the event into something out of a Call of Duty game.

Kruse was flat on his back for a bit, but did get back up and finish out the match. Sadly, having a face that felt like it was stung by a thousand bees didn’t help his cause and Bayer’s Son Heung-Min went on to score twice before the final whistle, giving Bayer a 3-0 win.

Cologne’s Anthony Ujah celebrates goal by assaulting a live goat

Anthony Ujah scored Cologne’s fourth goal in a 4-2 win against Eintracht Frankfurt and he decided to celebrate with Cologne’s live goat mascot, Hennes. But instead of doing something nice like petting the goat or giving it a high five, Ujah went right for the horns and tried to pull Hennes back onto its hind legs.

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Kaka scores late equalizer for 10-man Orlando City in first MLS game

With the divine intervention of Jeb Brovsky’s midsection, Orlando City captain Kaka was credited with his first MLS goal in added time to give his side a 1-1 draw with fellow newcomers New York City FC. Mix Diskerud opened the scoring for the visitors, curling in a shot from the edge of the box in the 76th minute off a pass from David Villa. Read more

Sportswear company apologizes for sexist washing instructions printed on Indonesian club’s shirt

Sportswear company Salvo Sports has apologized — albeit not convincingly — for the insanely stupid decision to print “Washing instructions: Give this jersey to your woman IT’S HER JOB” on the inside of Indonesia Super League club Pusamania Borneo’s shirts.

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All the madness of Aston Villa’s FA Cup quarterfinal pitch invasion

It’s been a while since Aston Villa had something to really celebrate. So, fully in the grips of Tim Sherwood Madness, Villa fans invaded the pitch after beating rivals West Brom for the second time in a week to book a trip to Wembley for the FA Cup semifinals.

Villa won 2-0 and as soon as the final whistle sounded, the home crowd stormed the pitch, releasing the tension of the season’s relegation fight in the process.

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